


Everybody Knows

by MissMeggie



Series: Jax/Jenna Series- Jenna 'Verse [1]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disabled Character, F/M, Gen, Major Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Season/Series 02, Violence, Violent situations, alternate season 2, mention of rape, other names used - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-11
Packaged: 2017-11-06 13:02:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 39,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone in Charming, CA knows Jennsis Winston and she is finally back in town! Things will never be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Return

Chapter 1  
________________________________________  
Jennasis Winston was finally back home in Charming after three years. She was back to help her brother raise his kids. She pulled up to the club laying on the horn. "Opie get your lazy ass out here and help me." she shouted.

"Comin' Jesus Jen!" Opie lifted Jennasis' wheelchair out of the back of her truck setting her in it.

She saw her ex Jax Teller… their motorcycle had left her in this chair and he'd walked away without a scratch. She'd left town because she couldn't stand to see Jax's guilt. Now, though she was home to stay.

"Jesus, its Jenna!" he thought to himself

Jenna tossed her auburn hair back. "Jax…"

"Jenna…"

"Lookin' good Jaxy Baby!" she flirted trying to put him at ease her blue green eyes sparkling. It hit him like a ton of bricks he still loved Jennasis Winston.  
She was wearing a wife beater tight over her plentiful breast pushed up giving him a good view. She had a new tattoo a cross tattoo in the form of a necklace the cross nestled perfectly between her breast. God she was a beauty. He was fucked.

"Take me in to see Pop?" she told Opie. He popped a wheelie pushing her through the club doors. "Pop Baby's home!" Opie hollered.

Jennasis rolled over wrapping her father in a hug.  
"Hey Old Man…"  
"Hey Baby… long drive?"  
"Not really…"

Jennasis saw a dark haired chick in scrubs stitching up Tig.

"Oh for fucks sake Tara Daddy really? Has Jax lost his ever lovin' pretty lil' mind…" Opie chuckled "Down killer…"

"Aw, now Ope you know it ain't fun for me without a lil competition…I think I'll go refresh her memory as to I am."  
"Be nice Baby…" Piney warned.  
"Always Daddy… sugar and spice I promise…" she rolled right over "Tig, Tara…"

"Well holy shit its Baby Winston…" Tig said

"You still a Crazy fucker Tig?"  
"You bet…"  
"Nice to see you Tara…"  
"You too Jennasis…"

"Your Mama and Clay here? And what about Abel?" She looked over at Jax.

"Yeah I'll show him too you he's in the back with Ma and Clay…" Jax followed her back.

"I don't like her anymore than I used too…" Tara said to Tig

"That's cause your smart honey… Don't trust me either while your at it…" Jennasis called back.

After seeing Gemma and Clay and playing with Abel for a bit Jennasis went to Opie's place to settle in. after helping the kids with their homework bathing then feeding them and putting them in bed. Jennasis prepared for bed herself. Until she realized she couldn't reach the lock and with Donna being gunned down by the Mayans a smart SAMCRO woman locked her doors.

She called her brother. "Hey dipshit I can't reach the lock on the damn door."

"Ok I'll come lock you in and move it down tomorrow…"

"I gotta go lock the doors for Jen… be back." Opie said.

"I'll go." Jax offered. "You're busy Jenna and I need to clear the air…"

"Don't you mean fuck on my kitchen table?"

"Funny Ope…Can she still do that?"

"Don't make me answer that I'd rather shoot myself in the foot first."

Jennasis heard a bike rumble into the driveway. She thought it was Opie so she stayed put at the table reading her book.

And then he was there. Jax Teller her one true addiction she couldn't kick it either even after all this time he stood there looking all broken and hopeful. He was the best she'd ever had… and she couldn't have him ever again. His guilt smothered him. They where young and stupid on a rain slicked road everyone had told him it wasn't his fault. Even she had but nothing helped nothing but for her to leave so she had. Just because she loved him and her presence caused him pain.

"Jenna…" was that longing in his voice

"Will you be ok with me here Jax? I have to do this for Op he's barely functioning someone has to be a leveler for the kids…"

"I know…"

"You can sit…" he pulled a chair close to her and sat.

"I'm good Jax I'm ok I never blamed you for it was just an accident…I'm going to have hell being a good girl and fighting our pull…"

"M e too…"She brushed his blonde hair back just because she had to touch him if for only in this moment.

"Being good's never fun…" she smirked. She grabbed his chin pulling his gaze to her "I like the facial hair… sexy…" she smiled at him. "Works for you…" she kissed him chastely. He deepened this kiss. He could allow himself this for just five seconds. He needed it. Her. Jenna. Just Jenna. His hand squeezed the back of her neck an old signal that meant "let me in." she opened her mouth to him. Her tongue battled with his. She tasted the same. Like honey and her.  
She broke the kiss. "I play second fiddle to no one not even Tara Knowles…"  
"  
It'd be best if you left now… I never was very good at resisting you…"

He locked the door and left…

Jennasis Winston was going to be the death of him.

A week later at a club bar-b-que.

Jennasis was talking to Opie and Jax. When Tara came over.

"Stay away from him." Tara warned. 

"Shit!" Opie muttered.

"See sweetie you did that all wrong…" Jennasis pointed out. "Wanna get your point across next time try this…" Jennasis pinned her with a look. "Touch him again I rip your intestines out through your cunt." she took a swig of Jax's beer. "Going to go make sure your kids aren't burning something down bro…Have a good rest of your night Tara… See ya 'round Jax." she rolled off.

Gemma walked over to her.

"He's happy you know… and Tara's not half bad….don't ruin it for him."

"If he's really happy I can't mess it up for him he'll do that all on his own… and you forget Gemma I'm a SAMCRO baby just like Jax I don't flinch at murder or gun fire and I can assemble a rifle in ten seconds flat…I put him back together when she broke him… I fixed him…I love him… she just wants to play in the mud for awhile…I want him and I'll have him Gemma."

AN: I only own Jennasis nothing else. I am just having fun! Also this is my first SOA Fic so please review and tell me what you think.  
________________________________________


	2. The Church

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content!

"He's going to kill me…" Opie murmured.

"Oh shut up and help…" Jennasis responded.

Jax came out of the club to see Jennasis sitting on the back of his Harley.

"Take me for a ride…" she held out his helmet.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I love you Jenna." he whispered.

"I know that we have to bury this… there's no better way Jax."

"Jesus Jennasis!" He yelled. "I crippled you damn it and you…"

"No Jax hitting wet concrete crippled me not you!"

"Jenna-"

"Get on the damn bike Jax. Get on."

He pointed at Opie not bothering to look at him. "I'll kill you later for helping her."

"She's scarier than you… I'll cover for you with Tara."

He got on the bike. "Scoot up that fender gets hot and hold on to me." he put on his helmet as did she. And he revved the bike Jennasis winked at her brother. 

"Mama shoulda named you trouble…" Opie thought.

"This part always felt right didn't it?" she whispered in his ear. She knew where he was headed. To their spot.

"No matter what life threw at me Jenna you always felt.. perfect…" he whispered taking a curve.

"I'm not Tara…I never will be I feel no need to save you from yourself." he killed the engine. And there stood the old abandoned church that had housed their passion their love their fights their beginning and their end. Not even Opie who knew everything under the sun about the pair knew nothing of this their disheveled home of sorts.

"When I'm with you Tara isn't even a thought in mind…I don't want you to be Tara…but I'll damn sure take Jennasis if your game…"

"We go in there we both know what's gonna happen…"

"Its gonna happen anyway Jenna… why torture ourselves holding out…"

"I'm not going to feel one bit of guilt Jax… I'm going to be able to look her in the eye smile and keep going…the guilt's on you not me Jax."

"Whatever gets me what I want…" he put down the kick stand steeping off the bike he got back on situating himself so he was face to face with her.

"Goddamn you are so pretty…" holding her face in his hands he kissed her. the kiss took on a slow meandering pace unlike the one before it. They were relearning each other not that they'd ever forgotten which buttons to push but being unhurried and uninterrupted caused the ball of anxiety at Jennasis' center to uncoil into warm comfort. Jax broke the kiss inhaling her scent. She smelled fresh clean and a little salty. "Damn." he murmured,

"I put a blanket in your saddle bag…cassanova…" she teased he chuckled.

"What I may fuck anywhere but come on at least allow me a blanket…" he laughed fully now. When they'd first started dating they hid it from everyone but especially Opie. They literally had sex where ever they could find a place cars, against walls, the club bathroom their church. You name it they'd done it. Jennasis only concession being if it was on the ground he better give her something to lay on. More than a few times she'd just laid on him.

 

He got off the bike "Don't go anywhere." then he realized what he said. She laughed 

"Even if I could I wouldn't baby…" he got the blanket out. It was turning to dusk. He came back picking her up and carrying her in. 

"All your girly shit is still here…"

"Hey don't knock my pretty candles most times that was all you could see me by." she smirked.

"I think I still know my way around even in the dark." he sat her down.

"Don't go getting all nervous Jax I'm still Jenna…"

"Don't hate me for asking ok but… how much can you feel?"

She touched the middle of her thighs. "from here down I got nothing…"

"Don't you dare feel guilty Jax it'll piss me off… and please god don't treat me like I'll break I swear one more guy is all gentle and shit I'll fucking scream."

Jax laughed. "Still like it rough huh?"

"It ain't rough it ain't fun baby…"

" I won't treat you like your breakable but I'm going to take my time…"

"Just don't get splinters in my ass dude…" he laughed kissing her.

He shrugged out of his jacket. He unbuttoned the gray vest she wore over her wife beater. He broke the kiss tugging gently at her bottom lip with his teeth. He moved on sucking bruise into the soft flesh of her neck. She sighed breathing deeply. Working her hands under his black t-shirt she scraped her nails along his sides and down his chest. Growing impatient she wanted the shirt off. She backed him off of her. Ripping the shirt over his head "Better." she smirked. 

He pulled her tank top off. He went to work laving her nipples through the deep blue fabric of her bra. Her head tossed back. She growled at him. He loved that. He smiled switching sides before freeing her of her confines. Fastening his mouth to her warm soft flesh. He peaked one nipple with his tongue and teeth and then the other. She whimpered squirming beneath his touch.

"Patience my Jenna…" he murmured pushing her to lay down 

"Fuck you…." she said back. His mouth moved lower. Her sternum. Her flat stomach. He ringed her navel with the tip of his tongue. She shook.

"Breathe Jenna…" he popped the button on her jeans. He shoved his hand down her pants. Teasing her core sheathed in lace with his fingertips. She bucked against his hand. He clucked his tongue at her "I told you I was going to take my time…" he pulled her jeans and panties down and off. He smirked arching a brow. "What?"

He chuckled "Nothing just thanking god that's all…"

She laughed. "Well there is a reason you call me "The Promise land"

He dove down fusing his mouth to her core. She breathed out in shaky starts and stops "Fuck Jax.."` she ran her fingers through his hair guiding him though he didn't need guidance. His tongue making tight circles on her clit as with three fingers he plundered her body forcefully thrusting. Fucking her with his hand. She was going to scream. He would put money on it. Every sensation she felt pulsed to her core. She came tightly around his fingers with a breathy scream. He felt immense pride.

He shucked the rest of his clothes mantling her he pushed his way into her warm wet welcoming body. He set a forceful but slow pace. She met him thrust for thrust. He kissed her his tongue mimicking his lower half. Swallowing each others sighs and groans. Here in this moment in the silent and dark holy home they belonged only to each other they came hard and fast in unison. Knowing each others bodies like a well played instrument. As if no time had passed. He collapsed on top of her whispering. "Jenna…"

"Yes."

" I still love you…"

"Never stopped loving you Jax…" they lay quiet for awhile.   
He turned on his side. "Ok I can't see my hand in front of my face…time for your candles. He got up fishing his Zippo out of jeans. He lit the candles starkly in the nude. Jennasis laughed . He lay down next her again. Tracing a fingertip along the curve of her hip. She watched she watched stained glass candle light play on his skin it was pretty. "Ok I'm going to ask a quintessential girl question so forgive me ahead of time."

He laughed. "Ok you are forgiven but just this once…"

"what are you thinking I know that scowl…" she rubbed away the frown line between his brows with her thumb.

"How much I've missed you, How much doing all this again scares me, how complicated its going to get take your pick…I mean there is Tara and you… your Jennasis "Baby" Winston for fucks sake you know what that means to the old timers…"

"You know what I say to that Jaxy?"

"What's that?"

"Fuck em' fuck all of it who cares…" she smirked

They made love till sunrise and Jennasis rolled in with the morning twilight meeting her parents and Opie at the breakfast table. Jennasis shifted in her chair trying to find a comfortable way to sit.  
"Damn it all to fucking hell Jen!" Opie swore.

 

"Its Me… Me And Jax! You expected something different…"

"Yes… no fuck I'm not stupid its just Tara better not touch you…"

"Don't worry big brother I can handle Tara Knowles on my own."


	3. Once Is Never Enough

"Aunt Jenny sing to us! Please?" Trey Winston asked."Finish your spelling if I do?"

"Yes'm…"

"Ok go put these quarters in the Jukebox whatever pops out I'll sing you…"

"Ok…"

"Hey Paigey-poo how's the math coming? Jennasis stole one of her chips. Jax smiled standing the door way watching her. "Aunt Jenny what is Satisfaction by the rolling stones." Jenna giggled rolling forward "Don't play that."

"Here I like the irony in this one…" Pretty Woman poured out of the jukebox.

Jax laughed. "That's not funny Jenna."

"But still you laugh." she shot back at him smiling. She picked up Trey setting him in her lap she spun them in circles… Trey laughing as Jenna showered her seven year old nephew in kisses she sang loudly and with perfect pitch her velvety voice taking on sultry sound. She stopped next to Paige "Why the glum face my baby…"

"There's a school dance coming up and I wanna go but I think dad will say no."

"No he won't…"

"its sadie-hawkins…"

"Good the best kind…"

"I can't dance…"

"Opie Winston…. Get your ass in here and teach your daughter to dance…"

"I hate dancing…" he appeared in the door way.

"Its either you Jax or Juice…"

"Juice's skeevy ass isn't touching my child…and its unfair to unleash Jax on a hormonal thirteen year old little girl…"

"Then I guess your choice is made…"

"You can dance Uncle Jax…" Trey asked.

"Your Aunt Jenna loved to dance…" sadness appeared on his face for a moment.

"still do…" she offered him her hand "Just do it different now." their song poured out of the speakers. I've been loving you too long By Otis Redding "Thanks Op…" Jenna said. He shrugged and went back to teaching Paige to dance.

They danced for a bit with her in the chair. "One thing…" Jax stopped picking her up. She squeaked in surprise. "Need you closer…" he whispered. Clay walked in from the back. "little kids and dancing in the clubhouse what is happening to SAMCRO?"

"I came home Clay…" Jennasis teased.

"just don't turn him to mush…" he nodded at Jax

"Me never…" she turned kissing Jax. "Still love me?" "always…"

A few days later…

Jennasis went looking for Trey he was mostly likely playing in the bathroom. She overheard a argument between Tara and Jax.

"Are you sleeping with her?"

"No I swear Tara…"

"Your not Lying?"

"No, she means nothing to me." Jenna grabbed the beer Gemma was carrying to Clay. She tapped Jax on the shoulder. "Je-" she threw the beer in his face. "Fuck you Jax!" she turned to roll away. "Jenna wait please…" she whipped the chair around nearly hitting "Don't Jenna me don't… I told you I was no second fiddle but I thought he'll wake up decide he wants me… you can lie to her about sleeping together but do not say I mean nothing don't look me in the eye and say you love me. I won't lie or be lied to I'm done Jax…and unlike you I'm not a liar I mean what I say. Someone needs to find Trey." she rolled off instead of angry walk she had an angry roll he realized now. Opie's mouth was agape we quickly closed it following Piney's silent command to go after his sister. Leaving Jax on his own with Tara.

He found his sister out of her chair sitting on the broken freezer behind the club. Smoking a cigarette.

"Those things will you kill you…"

"So will a lotta things…" she offered him a drag. He took it.

"Like loving Jax Teller… its death sentence…"

"Jax would be blessed to have you and I'm not just saying that because I'm your brother… you're smart tough stronger than most men… your built for him… her… he's just trying to put the lighting back in the bottle its not going to work…"

"So He'll wake up?" she exhaled smoke.

"He will doesn't mean you have to wait for him…in fact if I was a good brother I'd tell you to run as far away from SAMCRO as you could get before we get you killed too."

"Hey now…"

"I should of let her leave when the ATF agent scared her."

"Love is deaf blind and incredibly fucking dumb…if Donna wanted to leave she would of no matter what you said… she loved you and your not to blame for what happened you hear me Op?"

He nodded. "I miss her to you know… she was my best friend too." Jennasis said.

"I know… god it all just sucks…"

"And it will for a long long while it'll get eaiser but never go away…"

"How did you function without Jax all that time?"

"One breath at a time Opie one breath at a time. And I sang this a lot…"

She sang. "even when the rain falls even when flood starts rising cause even when storm comes I am washed by the water…"

"and that means?" Opie laughed "Good comes from everything. The same god that was with you on top of the mountain is the same god with you in valley…It'll get better Op… Just hang on til then ok?"

He smiled "When did you become so wise…" she put out their shared cigarette. "Always have been…" she teased.

"What ya gonna do about Jax?"

"Thinking about fucking one of Luanne's porn boys just to piss him off I hear some of em' are packin' heat."

Opie laughed. "That'd damn sure piss him off but I see no need for you to contract herpes to get even Jen…instead I hear Donovan Sinclair is in town again…" Jennasis laughed outright and loud.

"Opie, you are a terrible best friend but a great brother…"

"No one fucks with the Winstons not even Jax Teller…"

"Damn straight…"

"By the way the beer to the face was a nice touch…"

"I try…"

"Take the kids for Ice cream with me…"

"Go round them up I'll wait here…" she was looking up at the stars when she heard Jax's Gravelly voice pleading "Jenna…"

"To late for apologies Jax…"

"I've always had trouble being the man you need for me to be."

"You chose her I mean nothing remember? So, the man I need for you to be doesn't matter or exist…"

"You always matter that's my problem Jenna one taste is never enough with you…"

"As long as she's in picture that one taste is all you get ." she finally pinned him with a searing look. For yet another time in his life he thought Jennasis Winston was human heroin.

"Aunt Jenny what ice cream you getting?" Trey interrupted the intense exchange.

"Butterscotch like always…: Jax answered for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time I wrote this fic I was was unaware of the names of Opie's children & mother I named them Trey Paige & Ann. They will remain that way despite cannonical names being different for contiuinity in the stories.  
> Songs used: Washed By The Water By Needtobreathe  
> I own nothing but my OC's and ideas.


	4. Chapter 4

She heard his bike idling as she set on the steps of their church reading the bluest eye by Toni Morrison. Her chair set in grass near by, She turned up her Ipod trying to ignore him. He stood in front of her. "Jenna!" he does not exist she told herself. He picked one of the poppies growing wildly around the church. A deep purple one. Slipping it behind her ear nestling it into her thick auburn hair. She pulled out an ear bud he recognized Evanesce blaring out.

"I Meant what I said. Tara warms your bed I don't." their eyes caught and held.

"I know…I …I'm just sorry Jenna."

"Sorry she warms your bed? Sorry I don't? Sorry I won't let you play us?"

"I'm sorry I hurt you with my lie…"

"And still your with her…not making a choice makes you a coward a beautiful coward but a coward all the same."

"I didn't come here to fight Jenna." he stood over her now. She shielded her eyes from the sunlight. Her bright yellow silk off the shoulder peasant top fluttered in the breeze. She was so beautiful it scared him.

"I came to just be in the silence with you."

"You make me weak."

"You make me whole…" he sat behind her on the church steps.

"What's your book about?"

"A little black girl who so longs to have blue eyes like her little white friend that she literally drives herself crazy…"

"That's sad…"

"I can relate…"

"How so?" he played with her free hand.

"This book states that physical beauty and romantic love are the most destructive things in history…. If I wasn't so completely enamored with you my life would be easier…"

"So, I'm your destruction?"

"In a leather cut.."

He smirked. "I forget how smart you are…"

"No you don't… oh I forgot tell Clay I'll change the trans on that Honda tomorrow…"

He laughed. "Okay."

He loved Jenna he really did he knew you could find everything from Metallica to show tunes Christian to Country on her Ipod. She read Tolstoy and car and driver. Her nephews finger paintings held as much weight as a Georgia O'Keefe painting.

"That O'Keefe print the purple poppies Still hang over your bed?"

She chuckled "Yes why?" she leaned into him.

"Just wondering…" he kissed her temple.

"We make sense here…"

"Always…" he replied.

"So I heard you went out with Donny Sinclair…"

"It was a date I'm not having his children…"

"So the date was a bust?"

"What did Tara say about us?"

"Nothing… Just ignores it all…"

"That should tell you something…."

"Like What?"

"If I were her I'd of ripped us both new ones…"

"But she's not you…that's painfully obvious."

"Why do you try so hard with her?"

" I think I need to prove people wrong…"

"Prove them wrong with me…"

"If we hadn't had the accident you'd of married me not Wendy…"

"True… god I love you… know that ok know that for as long as you've been gone I've just been passing through life not living it I sleep with countless women and I always see your face… I can't breathe without you god I…you wanna know what I thought about all day today? Finding you and fucking your brains out on the nearest flat surface…I fucking goddamn need you ok I need you but I'm stuck either way I hurt someone…"

"So you're waiting for Tara to bail so you don't have to be the bad guy…classy Jackson!"

"I'm fucked up and broken and all wrong and I hate what SAMCRO has become… I hate my life ok and when I'm here with you it seems to become so clear… your mine I'm yours and nothing else matters… but I go home and there is Tara with Abel and everyone says to stay away from you…I need time to get out ok to make a clean break I need time can you give me that? I'm going to leave her I just need time to do it gently…"

"Okay I'll give you time…"

"I'm going to kiss you now." and he did hard and hungry the kind of kiss that said "I'm gonna nail you to the nearest wall. It a battle for dominance. Tongues dueling teeth scarping clash of a kiss. It made her want to fuck him right then and there in broad daylight they broke away panting.

"Jesus motherfucking Mary and Joesph kissing a woman like that ought to be illegal.. No wonder I gave it up on our first date." she croaked out.

"Taking you to prom worked out well for me…" he situated her so she was straddling him. "What are you doing?"

 

"I'm going to get you off Jenna…" he hiked her short denim mini skirt up around her waist. Fingering her clit through already wet simple white cotton panties.

"How long you been ready for me baby?"  
"Since I heard you pull up…god I am so fucking weak…" he moved aside her underwear thrusting his fingers inside her cavity his the thumb still circling her clit one pass in and out two, three, four, she lost count around eighteen with his teasing pace. He wouldn't let her come. "Please…please…" she begged mindlessly.

"Please what Jenna?"

"Fuck me…please fuck me…"

"What about being second fiddle?"

"Right now I don't care about that… I need to feel you inside me…"

"You're sure?" all the while he kept his pace.

"Don't make me beg…" He stopped his movement. "Fuck Jax…"

"Donovan didn't get any?"

"No…"

"Why not?" he undid his belt buckle teasing her.

"Stop teasing do you want to fuck or not?"

"Say it! Say no one gives it to you better…" he drove up into her before she knew what hit her. 

"ahh, no one gives it to me better." she said loudly anyone in a three block radius heard her. It was a frantic heated coupling harsh and mean just like old times. He battered into her each time brushing her gspot. Her wetness coating him like a glaze. Her head tossed back he watched the sunlight play in her hair. "Don't stop…" she begged. "I won't baby…" he drove into her over and over. She was shaking a sure sign she was about to come. He yanked her head forward plundering her mouth with his tongue. He bit her full bottom lip. Then soothed away the sting with his tongue.  
"Next I'm gonna fuck you in that tight little ass of yours…" he threatened.  
"I'll let you…" she panted unashamed.  
"Go on baby let yourself come…let yourself go Jenna." she did twisting tight around him like a vice. She pitched forward into him. She forced him to orgasm shooting cum into her in spasms. He finally calmed down, He realized she was crying. "Jenna baby?" she breathed in his scent. Leather. Smoke. And curve cologne. "Baby did I hurt you?" her face still buried in his neck he got a muffled. "No."  
"Then what Darlin?"  
"Its never like that with anyone else…never…"  
"I know…" he slipped out of her.  
"We got nothing solved today…we made it worse Jackson… I love you too much it scares me…"  
He wiped her tears. "I'll fix it all baby… Don't cry I'll fix it."  
She wanted to believe him. But could she? Should she? She didn't know.  
________________________________________


	5. Lynch Pin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own only Jenna nothing else.  
> Songs used: What I'd give by Suglarland.

Jenna was rolling unexpectedly out from under the Jeep she was working on. She looked up to see Jax who had yanked her out by the ankles of her new fat baby boots.

"Hi gorgeous…" Jax smirked.

"Hello Jax…I was working… and stop it with the little I'm fucking you seven ways from Sunday in my head smirk…"

"Yeah well… " he smiled wolfishly. "I didn't come in here to mind fuck you I promise… its Ope…" fright crossed her face. "He's ok he's sitting in his truck staring off into space none of us can get him out thought I better come get you."

"Yeah can you help me into my chair?" he put her in her chair. "

Thanks babe…" she began to roll away. "Jenna…" he called.

She looked back over her shoulder. "Yeah…"

"Love you."

"And I you…" she replied and exited the shop.

She rolled up to his truck leaning into the open driver side window.

"You're scaring people."

"I'm tired Jen…"

"I know…"

"I just want it all to stop…"

"What to stop elaborate for me Bubba…."

"I want life to stop I want my every thought to not revolve around her… damn songs on the radio make me cry… her lip gloss has set in this cup holder for six months because I can't make myself get rid of it… you called from Jax's last night and I felt the moment you realized you'd called to talk to your best friend who wasn't there anymore…I want to wake up and it not be real I want it to fucking stop."

"Its ok to cry and miss her…"

"It doesn't change that she's gone…"

"I know…I'm here if you need me… but your freaking the boys out so get outta the truck Kay? Can you help me change the radiator in the caddy?"

"Sure…" he got out they went in two different directions. Jax walked toward Jennasis. "He ok…" then he looked at her. Tears filled her eyes her chin trembling with the force it was taking to hold the tears back. He held her face in his hands his forehead touching hers.

"He's in so much pain and I can't help him I don't know how." her tears began to fall. "Shh baby… shh…" She buried her face in his shoulder.

"Shh Jenna." he rubbed her back til the tears stopped.

"No, one is to know I cried ok especially not Ope."

"Your secrets safe…"

"Gonna go finish up the Jeep."

As Jenna rolled away Tara approached him.

"What the hell was that?"

"Me comforting a friend her brothers broken into a million pieces and not one of us can help him. Everyone forgets she lost her best friend too…she broke ok for one little minute and I caught her got a problem with it?"

"Yeah."

"Too damn bad."

"I'm supposed to just deal with her presence in your life…"

"Yep, you are…"

"Do you love her?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to Tara." He walked off.

That afternoon…

Jenna started to feel sick. "Shit." she thought. Her autonomic dysreflexia was kicking in she didn't know what was causing the pain she couldn't feel but it was getting scary now. God she was hot. She rolled out from under the kia she was finishing up for Halfsack.

"Juice… could you get Opie for me…" she looked at the man with the tattooed skull.

"Jen.. Jesus your white…" he took off. Opie appeared she'd never in her life seen him move that fast.

"AD's kicking my ass take me in the club house…" Opie swept into the club Jennasis in his arms. "Jax! Jax Tara still here?"

"I will kill you…" Jennasis vowed to Opie. Jax came out of the back buttoning his pants. "Someone will die." she vowed.

"Yeah wh- Tara somethings wrong with Jenna get out here…"

"Oh, poor precious Jenna…"

"He was serious." Opie replied. Tara caught sight of her. Immediately kicking in to doctor mode.

"Jennasis…"

"I have autonomic dysreflexia…my brother is over reacting I just need to relax and cool off."

"What's that?" Jax asked.

"Her nervous system over reacts to pain stimuli and it drives up her blood pressure to dangerous levels…"

"I'm nauseous." she told them." You can set me down Ope." He nestled her into the couch

"She's hypoglycemic too does that matter?" Jax said

"How the hell do you remember that?"

"Reflex…"

'"Might have some part in it get some juice or something sweet kay…"

"I think I just overheated… shops hot…" she took deep breaths. Trying to slow her heart rate and bring her blood pressure down.

"You aren't having problems with your cath?"

"I don't cath I can control all that.." Jax was basically tearing the fridge a part.

"Maybe you hit your leg or something?" Opie said.

"No, just sensitive to heat and cold now…Jax baby…there's juice boxes in the door calm down I'm fine…"

"Did you eat breakfast…" he asked

"Got busy forgot sue me…" he grabbed the juice and Jenna's PB &J sandwich she put in there for lunch. Opie turned on the air conditioning and put a cool rag on the back of her neck.

Jax shoved the food into her hands. "Eat!"

"Yes, Mother…" she took a bite with a smirk. She ate half the sandwich and drank the juice down.

"Thank you all I'm feeling better…" "And Tara I know you don't care for me so thanks…"

"Just doin' my job." Tara left kissing Jax quickly on the cheek then bolting.

"I'll go finish up your stuff you stay put…" Opie excused himself leaving her alone with Jax.

"So, sorry I scared you…" he sat down on the couch next to her. Her hands where still shaking.

"Baby your trembling…"

"Comes with the territory…" he brushed her hair back.

"Not having sex with you after you've just been inside her ain't happenin' dude."

"Wasn't like that Jenna." she just looked at him. "It was but it wasn't Jenna… I didn't want it."

"If you didn't want it you wouldn't have gotten hard cowboy…"

"Fair enough…" he moved her hair kissing her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" "Kissing you…" he said conversationally. She just looked at him. "I haven't…" he nipped at her shoulder. Goosebumps rose on her skin . The good kind. "kissed her…" he moved up sucking a bruise into her neck. She dropped her juice and food on to the floor. "At all today… so this is fair game." his breath hot on her skin. "Jax I need to keep my heart rate down…" his mouth landed on hers hot and hungry "So much for my heart rate." She thought to herself. He laid her back on the couch still attacking her mouth with his. Forceful deep kisses that stole her breath. Her hands weaved into his hair yanking hard. She smiled when he grunted in pain but continued on undeterred. "We need to stop we'll get caught…" instead he left his mark on her collarbone. "You're not listening are you?" he ran his tongue along a exposed bit of chain in her tattoo. "Nuh uh…" he murmured. Continuing his hickey. He had decided to make a trail of the from behind her ear to her collarbone.

"Why must you brand me this way I already wear your mark…"

"Remind me later show…" he kissed her on the mouth. "That area special attention." her phone rang.

"Jesus…fucking leave us alone people."

"I need to get that might be the school Trey's been fighting…"

"Ok get it I'll wait…" he continued his hickey trail

"Hello…" Jenna hoped she sounded normal. She squealed girlishly making Jax look up. "Tomas…" Jax scowled at her.

"You're in town …. Yeah I'm down for that my parents won't care I might invite some people that cool? Ok see ya then."

"Who was that?"

"My band is down from L.A. were going to jam… you should come it'd be fun like old times…and you can bring Tara if you like I'll be civil for you."

Later that night…

She could feel him looking at her from somewhere within the crowded house.

"Ok so there are many things I know about Jen…but there are things I don't know anyone care to enlighten me a little someone?" Tomas asked in between songs.

"Like what?" Opie asked.

"What's her middle name?"

"Ope I know your full name don't make me…" She warned.

"Its Indigo…" Jax said strolling up swigging a beer.

"Jennasis Indigo Winston… what were your parents on…"

"You will pay Jackson Teller…" "looking forward to it…" they played everything from country to rock.

"I have another question What do the crows wings on her shoulder blades mean?" everyone let it drop. Jax watched as music boy kept finding ways to touch her. When he got up to go to the bathroom. Jax followed catching him in the hall. "Those crow wings mean she's mine…means you'd be smart to leave her alone…"

"You don't scare me biker boy…with your little half assed James Dean act."

"Then you're stupid." he walked away. To find Jenna singing about what'd you'd give to be with one person you can't touch. Eyes closed as she played the bluesy guitar solo. She opened her eyes caught him looking at her she winked at him or so he thought until he found music boy standing behind him.

"Listen up rebel without a clue …that's still mine…"

Music boy walked over kissing Jenna hard on the mouth . Jax looked away when his tongue practically went down her throat.

"I think little sister just sent you a message Teller." Opie said.

" yeah yeah…"

Later he found Jenna outside smoking.

"What was that earlier you kissing that Paul McCartney wanna be?"

"Just reminding you turn about is fair play baby… you don't like the rules of the game do what you have to do to change em'"

"Pssh, if I wanted I could fuck you right here right now…"

"You could huh? You're drunk I should let that slide but I won't…" she grabbed him by the Jacket. Yanking him to her. "You underestimate me Jax…" he could feel her breath on his lips. He wanted to kiss her she tilted her head like she was going to kiss him. "I went a long time without you I can do it again…" her lips brushed his as she spoke then she gave him a nice little shove.

"You have a month to get rid of her or I'm gone ya got me?"

"Jenna…"

"Oh don't Jenna me ok…just do what ya gotta do Jax." she rolled back into help the boys break down their stuff.

Gemma had been leaning against the side of the house smoking and heard everything. She strolled over to Jax.

"Looks like Baby has your balls in a vice honey…"

"Its Complicated Ma…"

"Yeah I can tell . You love her? The truth…"

"Yes, I do god its like breathing I can't not… but I'm gonna hurt Tara and I don't want that… and me and Jenna we fight like cat and dogs half the time…"

"She's a passionate girl…not a bad thing… just a tip though… That musician in there gets her I can tell she let her guard down and let that boy and he likes her… he likes your Jenna the one only you thought you knew…"

"How would you know all that?"

"Because I've talked to the girl three times a week every week for the past three years. It was you who needed to forget her not the rest of us. Your Jenna is smart she won't wait for forever Jax."

"Thought you were on the Tara band wagon."

"Just wanna see you happy son." she walked away.

A few days later.

Her phone rang. "Get that for me will you Ope?"

"It's a text from Jax!" he said playing as though he were a excited teenage girl. She laughed. "What's it say?"

"Can you meet me?" Opie read. "ask why."

He did. Getting a quick response. Jenna was helping Trey get ready for bed.

"Ugh, ok did not need to know that man…"

"What'd he say…."

"Need you… getting itchy…" Opie shivered. "That could have been a lot worse for you trust me…" she responded checking Trey's breath to make sure he'd brushed well.

"He's itchy…Jen…might be crabs those fuckers itch…"

" Oh no you didn't! Opie! I'll tell him you said he has crabs…"

"So your going?"

"Don't look at me like that Ope…"

"Not looking at you like anything drive careful…"

"Tuck your kids in I'll be back."

Ethan Zobelle had his people following Jax. Jax never realized it as he pulled his bike around to the back of the church. He noticed Jenna had beat him here. What did she do 80 to get here?

"You beat me here…sorry Abel wanted no one but me to put him to bed at the last minute." he bounded up the stairs latching his lips on to hers. He pushed her chair backward til she hit the wall with a thud his lips having never left hers. Tongues dancing for space in each others mouths. In fierce possessive wanton kisses tearing at each others clothes lots of ripping, heavy breathing and moaning filled the air. "Fucker you just ripped my favorite shirt…ahhh" he bit hard into her neck it hurt but felt good at the same time.

"Buy you a new one." he tossed aside the broken garment. Her went to divest her of her bra she stopped him.

"What?"

"Shh…thought I heard something.."

"Nothings out there baby…just crickets…"

"Sorry your right…" she kissed him again he lifted her out of the chair making quick work of her skirt undoing his pants he plowed into her taking her hard and fast against the wall. "Damn fuck shit!" he drove her up the wall with his strokes. He laughed "Such sweet talk Jenna…"

Now, recovering after round two Jennasis lay atop him lazily. He traced the tips of her crows wings with his fingertips. "Sing to me Jenna." she leaned up looking at him. "No, I never get sang to you serenade me."

"ok um…a little less conversation a little more action please all this aggravation aint satisfactioning me a little more bite a little les bark a little more spark a little less fight close your mouth open up your heart and satisfy me baby satisfy me baby."

She laughed. A loud happy sound "Damn Teller you sure do you know how to seduce a girl…we need to invest in a mattress…"

"Snuck one out here before I can do it again…"

A little later they left. Jennasis wearing Jax's grey and red flannel shirt. He helped her into her truck kissing her a final time. He secured her chair in the truck bed. He got on his bike following her to make sure she made it home ok. Neither realized pictures had been snapped of their intimate exchange.

"Boss I've got Teller's lynch pin… it's the lil' cripple no trust me we rough her up she'll break unlike the old bitch and they'll all crumble and be under our thumbs like we want."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	6. Mole

There was a knock at the door Jenna opened it to see Jax on the other side. He wolf whistled "Damn… you look…" she wore a black tube sun dress with zebra and red detailed straps. Red heels that tied up her ankles. Her headband matched. Her only accessories being black hoop earrings and the black onyx and diamond ring Jax had given her years ago rested on her right hand ring finger. "Nice…" she supplied "I was thinking insanely fucking hot but nice works." he leaned into the door dropping kiss on her mouth. "The smoky eye thing that what that's called right I like that…and where are you headed all prettied up my Jenna?"

"Church…get your ass in gear Op!"

"Church?" Jax laughed.

"Yes Jax church he needs something none of us can give him…"

"And you think praying will fix him?"

"Do not ! Do not knock how I try to help him there was a time god was all I had Jax so don't you dare devalue what I believe in… what my Mama raised me to believe…"

"What do think you're god thinks about our little trysts?"

"God forgives all sins…and I think he forgives us because we're fated because we got lost because we put our fates in the hands of place keepers, because we love each other and because that's exactly the way he made us. Your more than welcome to go with us but don't think less of me because I believe in something I can't touch…. Move out of my way! Opie! Trey! Paige! Lets go!"

He moved out of her way.

"Say hi to God for me."

She flipped him the bird. "Bastard." she said wheeling away

"Jesus what did you do to my sister?" Opie asked locking the front door.

"Made her mad. I don't think your 'sposed to say Jesus like that before attending church." he pointed out.

"Aunt Jen you said a bad word." Trey put in.

"Yes I did sometimes life requires bad words get in the car."

Jax didn't often go into the houses of God unless it was in that quiet abandoned place that held his stolen moments with the lady who'd pulled him here like a moth to flame. He came to worship but only her. He stood in the back watching her. Trey sat in her lap. Sharing a hymnal when needed. She put on her glasses to read the bible passages. Glasses he didn't know she needed. He'd the bet copper colored frames made her eyes greener than usual. She was now biting her lip to stifle a laugh at something Trey had said. Opie hid his smile with a fake cough his hand covering his mouth. It was nice to see his friend smile again even if in the next moment it was gone replaced by his ever present frown it was still nice. He watched as with the closed eyes she sang the last hymn Amazing Grace. She sang as if no one but god himself where watching. He believed in god, he did. Because whatever had created Abel whatever had created her was worth believing in.

Sundays they had club Bar-B-Que's today was no different. With only one exception Tara wasn't with Jax today and he was free to do his own thing. He went in search of Jenna finding her with Luanne and his Mama. She was picking at some potato salad. He leaned down looping an arm around her shoulders. His fingertips brushing circles on her shoulder. He put his face in the crook of her neck inhaling her scent. "Hi you smell nice… like cake batter…"

"its my soap." he looked up at her his chin still resting on her shoulder.

"Don't still be mad." she was silent.

"Ok, ok, Jenna I'm sorry I took cheap shots at you this morning I'm sorry."

"I put us here I know that and I'm sorry."

"Ok fine your sorry… I'm still mad that you don't understand what I'm trying to do to help my brother when all anyone else wants to do is let him go all cowboy and nearly get himself killed."

"She has a point." Gemma added. "Don't help her." Jax thought.

"I've talked to him about it he's gonna lay off."

She nodded. "And I didn't mean to pick on you about being a Christian forgive me?" she finally looked at him. "yeah."

"Good…" he kissed her firmly. While trying to slip his hand down her dress. She broke away. "Jackson!" she batted his hand away "Jennasis!" he replied.

"Get off me and go bug Opie!" she laughed.

"Son you just apologized and in front of people!" Gemma teased. He shrugged smirking and walked away.

"You… your good for him its nice to see the old Jax again. Gemma told her.

Jenna just smiled.

Three days later

Smile by uncle kracker told Jenna she had a Text from Jax.

*Meet me at 9 our spot miss you love you Jax!* Jenna rolled her eyes she knew where to meet him by now for crying out loud.

*Nine it is then love you back*

Jenna parked her truck behind the church like always not seeing Jax's bike.

"Ok that's kinda weird maybe I beat him again…" she got out of the truck wheeling up the ramp Jax had made a week after they came here. She was in the church shrugged out of her denim jacket tossing it on the mattress. She looked up and six masked men where all coming at her all armed with something or other crowbars brass knuckles she screamed. Tried wheeling away but wasn't near fast enough. They caught her throwing her to the floor. The first punch should of knocked her out cold but she was conscious the whole time. She went into autopilot eventually stopped screaming and crying and just prepared to die.

"Sorry ma'am… we told the old lady we'd do it again if SAMCRO dealt with blacks and spics…"

Jax knew Jenna was calling him but he was with Tara so he let it go to voice mail until Tara went to shower. Then he checked it. "You have one new message from Jennasis. What Jax heard chilled his bones. She was screaming bloody murder 'Jax! Jax! Help Opie somebody help me!" she sobbed he felt sick as he heard them hit her repeatedly and she screamed and grunted in agony.

An unknown voice came on "Better hope we don't kill her sweet little ass Teller." and the line went dead.

"Tara!" Jax screamed waking Abel. "Tara!" "Jesus Jax! What?"

"Somebody has Jenna… Oh god somebody has Jenna… its gotta be the league…"

"What?"

"here listen Tara…" he threw the phone at her she listened to the voicemail. Turning white as a sheet.

"We need to find her Jax with her autonomic dysreflexia this could kill her where could they have taken her?"

"I need to… I need to…"

"I'll call Opie you just take some deep breaths ok?" but before she could Opie called "I just received a picture mail of my sister laying a bloody heap with a sick little "Enjoy your where's waldo…I don't…"

"Jax thinks the league beat her up Opie we have to find her…"

"Shit with the AD it could kill her I just assumed she was with Jax its been three hours but that's not out of the ordinary for them…"'

"Opie assumed she was with you…" Tara told her boyfriend who was currently having a panic attack.

"Then she's at the church… the abandoned one behind the kilner land tell him to meet us there. Call mama to watch Abel I'm going to go out there first and he was up and gone. Jax had his bike up to 110 when he pulled up to the church sprinting inside he found her laying on the mattress. She looked dead. "Jenna.." he rushed forward. Opie was right behind him "Oh no, no, no, no. not her to no, baby, no…" Opie sobbed. Jax felt for a pulse. "She's alive dude but her pulse is racing five minutes later Tara ran in. "We need to call an ambulance can you do that Opie…"

"Yes."

"Jax see if you can help me wake her?""ok."

"Don't move her but you can touch her." He moved a lock of blood matted hair away from her cheek.

"Looks like they broke her cheek bone…" Tara whispered.

He gingerly touched her face. "Jenna…" she moaned in pain

"Jenna do you know where you are?" Tara asked

"Church…"

"Why where you here baby?" Jax asked

"You texted me…"

"I didn't Jenna."

"It came from your phone Jax." she started to have a seizure. "What the hell Jenna!"

"Hold her head make sure she doesn't bite or so swallow her tongue. "

"What's causing this? Where's the damn ambulance?"

"it's the autonomic dysreflexia her BP is so high it caused it…" they heard sirens "Thank god." Opie murmured.

They sat in the waiting room. Tara finally returning with news.

"We gave her pain meds and we'll keep her sedated but she's in surgery they broke four of her ribs shattered her cheekbones they stomped her so bad I can make out the shoe prints in the bruises she has some internal bleeding which we are now doing surgery to stop it. They beat her legs with the crowbars. That's what caused the AD fit. She's got a fight on her hands guys."

"I will kill them…. Who the fuck beats up someone who can't defend themselves that's sick I'll kill them I'll kill them all." Opie said.

"I'll rip them limb from limb…" Jax said.

"You have awhile before you can see her." Tara sat next to him.

"If I'm to lose you to her can you tell me what it is about her?"

"you were gone and I'd been roaming aimlessly from girl to girl…its simple Tara she fixed me."

"So your saying my child could die?" Piney asked. Speaking for the first time.

"Yes, if we cant get her pain responses under control it is a strong possibility I'm sorry Piney."

"You and your damn club are gonna kill my baby!" Ann Winston screamed at Piney. Jax walked away as Opie comforted his mother. Gemma followed her son.

"Don't blame yourself you did not do this…"

"If I hadn't turned her into my whore she wouldn't of been out there Mom…. If I'd just left her alone."

"You can't leave her alone Jax! You never could and she can't leave you alone. You love her. She knows what comes with loving a crow every man she loves is one! This isn't on you! Yes. Make them pay even if it starts a war but don't make yourself stop loving her . When she wakes up and she will she's going to want only you, don't make me tell her you've walked away again!"

"What do I do mom?"

"You set with her you hold her hand. You stay at her side until she wakes."

She was in a room now they had stopped the bleeding. He drug a chair over and set by her bed. He picked up her hand "I'm here Jenna." he whispered.


	7. Recovery And Truth...

 

 

AN: thanks for all the reviews tell me what ya thought!

Jax was asleep curled into one of the chairs next to her. Opie could tell by the way his head was cocked he had fallen asleep looking at her. Opie pulled an empty chair to the bed sitting down next to her. He watched her smile dreamily in her sleep he half wondered what she was dreaming about. The other half didn't wanna know. A plastic surgeon had reconstructed her cheek bones two weeks ago. She was bruised but was the same beautiful Jen. She had been sedated for nearly six weeks now and heavily medicated to boot. They had said she was healing nicely and where going to start waking her today to see if she could handle it. He picked up her hand kissing the back of it. He sighed. How were they going to tell her she had been pregnant with Jax's child. Tara had run the test as per Jax's request. That was more than a tad awkward to say the least. Even more so when last week she'd miscarried due to all the trauma visited upon her body. He loved his sister completely in a way he loved very few people, his parents. His children, Donna and Jennasis where loved with a true fierceness he never showed anyone else. She didn't deserve all the cruel things she'd been handed it made him so incredibly angry he couldn't see straight. His need for vengeance was so strong and compelling he couldn't breathe whomever had done this would surely pay and pay a very high and dear price.

Jenna's dream….

They sat in Donna's 1963 comet that she'd driven in high school the top was down as they looked up at the stars. Jenna stretched across the back seat Donna in the front.

"Glad you came home Jen even if it took me dying for you to do it."

"You're dead in my dreams too! You bitch you suck!"

"So you and Jax's a back bumping uglies?"

"Classy Don, Real lady like, but yes!"

"Use condoms…"

"Aw, but that makes it less fun and downgrades my bad girl points!"

"I have one word for you Indy…Ima the porn queen…"

"That was four… and Jax doesn't like her…"

"But he likes Tara…"

"Touché…"

"You're about to wake up Jen and its gonna hurt…"

"No don't go!"

"I'll be back…Do me a favor?"

Jenna nodded. "Get Op laid he's getting kinda nutty!"

"Donna! "

"Just sayin' see you later girlie go on wake up … love you…"

She woke to Opie looking at her. Then the pain hit. "Ow, Ow, Ow, fucking Ow!" she said getting progressively louder. Jax was awake and across the room in seconds. Opie held her still. Jax hit the nurses button. "Jen I need you to stay calm." Opie said.

"It hurts…"

"Breathe baby…" Jax added.

"What where you dreaming about? You where smiling…" Opie tried distracting her.

"Talking to Donna."

"Really what did she have to say?" Jax asked.

"We need to use condoms and work on getting Opie laid…"

Opie laughed "What the hell did they give you?" Tara came in giving her an injection to ease the pain.

A few minutes later

"I wanna sit up. Help me?"

"Jenna honey I don't think-" Jax started.

"No, we can prop her up that's fine…move please." Tara said. He did then Tara helped her get situated. "Nausea? Lightheadedness?"

"No just thirsty…" Jax poured her a cup of water helping her drink.

"My …everything…hurts."

"They did a number on you Sis." Opie said Jennasis looked up with tear filled eyes. "I tried to get away Harry I did but I… there where too many and they where so much bigger than me … I was so scared….I screamed but no one could hear me… all I kept thinking was I didn't want to die in the one place I had satuarary." She was full on crying now. Jenna hardly ever cried and he could count on one hand the number of times he'd heard her refer to Opie by his given name it set him off kilter. He felt helpless. It just plain freaked Jax out. Then he saw a glimpse of the old Opie one he hadn't seen in a while the protector. As he wrapped his sister in his arms holding her "I'm gonna fix it Jen I swear I am."

"You can't I don't even know who they were they wore masks and their bodies where completely covered."

"I'll go get the others." Tara said leaving.

"Did they say anything to you…" Opie asked.

"Yeah but I don't understand it sorry ma'am we told the old bitch we'd do it again if they dealt with spics and blacks again… I didn't know who they were talking about."

"Jenna before the whole crew comes in here baby… I… I have to tell you something…"

"Let me guess you boffed Ima while I was out?" Jenna teased.

"What? No god… that's not funny."

"It kinda was." Opie defended her.

"Not now dude…" Jax took a deep breath and let it out.

"I'll give you guys a minute go tell Ma and Pop you're awake." Opie excused himself.

"Uh oh that's not good this must be bad." Jax took another deep breath held it then let it out slowly.

"Baby before that night… before what they did you were pregnant."

"Were past tense?"

"Yeah I'm sorry Jenna you lost the baby…"

"When?" she kept looking at her hands avoiding his eyes.

"Jenna look at me baby please…" she looked at him with tear filled eyes bravely sniffing them back "When?"

"Last Wednesday." she was deathly silent.

"Jenna honey…we can try again if that's what you want." he sat on the bed. Taking her hands kissing her palms in turn.

"I made a child with the man I love in the place I love and now I don't think I can ever go back there not after what they did."

"Don't let them take your place…our place of solace from us… you do that they win…'

"Fuck now why'd you go and say that now I gotta go back." he laughed gently kissing her. "We can try again you know that right Jenna?"

"You have a girlfriend but you want me to have your children?"

"Tara knows we're over. We have been since you stepped foot in Charming again… the way I acted When you were hurt and the fact that I haven't left this hospital in six weeks kinda spoke for itself."

"Thank you…" she whispered . "If I'd woken without you this time I'd of really broken." he breathed deep kissing her forehead. "I'm finished running Jenna…"

Their crew came rolling in. In all their leather clad glory she repeated all the information she'd told Jax and Opie.

"I still don't understand how they sent the text from Jax's phone though?" Juice said "Hell I'm the tech guy and I can't figure it out." he finished.

"Well we think it's the League right?" could you have left your phone where one of them could of filched it?" Gemma asked

"No, Ma!"

"Means we have a traitor then." Piney said

"But who hates me that much?"

"I don't hate you… I didn't do this Jenna I don't understand you two but this wasn't me."

"Ima!" both girls said at once.

"She's dumb enough to think we couldn't trace it back to her." Opie said.

"Jackson!" Jenna said. Both girls turned very angry gazes on him.

"I didn't fuck her." He defended.

"Then how'd she get your phone huh? Cowboy…" Shit Jenna was already mad at him Cowboy meant mad.

"It was just a blowjob!" Opie hit him upside the head hard. "Fuck Face!"

"ok so she sent the text but how does Ima have contact to the league if its them I can't identify any of them. Unser is calling it quits Hale's in the League's back pocket… that's it!" Jenna snapped her fingers "Hale's the key.."

"Hale can't be bought we've tried…" Clay said

"That's because you've never offered him the right thing Clay."

"What you getting at Jen." Opie asked.

"Dave Hale likes me always has…"

"No Jenna no fucking way Jenna!" Jax said looking at her with a frown.

"He dates me he'll look at it like SAMCRO is the lesser of two evils. He can run the league out of town or I can at least buy you guys some time to do it yourself…"

"He's a skeevy little pervert Jenna!"

"Then I'll just have to put my big girl panties on and deal won't I."

"If it's all the same to you I'd prefer you keep your big girl panties on." Juice laughed "You mean if she actually wore panties."

"Juice buddy you're standing awful close to my brother who just so happens to carry a loaded gun… put it to a vote clay." Jenna finished.

"all in favor…" all but three hands went up Piney Opie and Jax where dead set against it but the votes won out.

"How are you sure Hale isn't going to catch on about you and Jax rekindling old flames." Tig asked

"Jax and I haven't been public about anything as far as Hale knows he's still with Tara…"

"Well your helping the club out I guess I can too." Tara said.

"Yeah Tara thanks your making such a big sacrifice." Sarcasm dripped from Jenna's voice

.

Everyone finally left Jenna and Jax alone.

"I don't like this your mine I don't share."

"Its all for show my heart is yours besides you know you like all our secretive sex." he smiled "Its certainly not bad…"


	8. The Plan

The boys left saying they had some business to take care of. So Jenna was now setting in a empty room with Gemma Teller.

"Gem?"

"Yeah Baby."

"I lied when I said I didn't know who the old bitch was I inferred that it was you I mean its smart strategy they hurt the women the men will be so blinded by anger and either implode or buckle. We can't let the girls be picked off one by one so getting Hale to back them off was the best I could come up with. We need to make sure the others watch their backs. I don't know what they did to you Gemma but I'm sorry they did it."

"Nothing I can't handle… Now I know you'll deal with Ima in a slightly different way than Tara."

"Oh that'll be her first and last time creeping in on my territory trust me…and then I'll just pawn her off on Opie he needs a fuck buddy."

/-/

"Jenna is going to kill you for being here… let her handle Ima come on Jax its not worth it." Opie said as they pulled up to Caracara.

"No, I wanna know who she got all text happy for." he got off the bike striding in leaving Opie to catch up. He was pissed off and completely unfazed by all the skin he was seeing

"Luanne I need to see Ima now!" He barked

"But Jax-"

"She nearly got Jenna killed. NOW Lu!"

"Ok ok.."

Jax leaned on the desk in the office as Opie stood against the wall picking at his nails with his pocket knife.

"Hi, Jaxy Baby…"

"Only one woman calls me Jaxy you ain't her. " he stalked toward her. "In fact you nearly got her killed," she moved back until she hit the wall near Opie. Jax walked over standing in front of her got close enough to kiss her acting as if that was his plan all along. His fingertips brushed her face giving her false

security. His hand closed around the column her throat he squeezed slightly "Who'd you send that text for and why?"

"I don't know what you are talking about!" he squeezed

"Don't make this harder than it has to be Ima."

"I don't know nothing." she maintained. He squeezed hard still giving her head a nice rap on the wall for good measure.

"Don't kill her she makes us money." Opie idly warned.

"Ok it was A.J. Weston we've been on a few dates… I just wanted her outta my way before she became competition."

"I don't want you Ima I never will all you are is handy ass… when I'm bored… now get back to work." he let her go.

"What are you slutty Amelia Bedillia?" Opie asked having taken note of the barely there maid outfit.

Next the boys strolled in to Zobelle's cigar shop. Jax picked up a Cuban sniffing it.

"You realize he probably has impoverished little Cuban boys in dingy sweat shops rolling those things right?" Opie said.

Jax set the cigar up on the counter. "Hi Jeanette I'd like to see Mister Zobelle if he's in."

"Sure Jax no problem."

Zobelle emerged from the back. "What can I do for you today." Opie pulled his gun pointing it in the center of Zobelle's forehead. So close Zobelle could feel the cool metal of the gun muzzle.

"You tell your little henchman who beat the fuck out of my sister I'm coming for them. This blows back on you I will put a bullet in your brain. That's guaranteed. You thought you'd piss Jax off a little by rough up his lady right? What you didn't bank on… since I lost my wife I'm kinda a crazy fucker…you or your crew even so much as breathe on Jen again…I'll go out in blaze of glory taking every single one of you with me." he lowered the gun. "Now have a nice day." he walked away.

/-/

2 weeks later…

Jenna rolled into the Sherriff's office.

"Hey Chief Unser…any developments on my case?"

"I handed it off to Hale Miss Jennasis."

"His office still in the same place…"

"Yes ma'am."

"Thanks chief." Jenna winked

She rolled back further rapping on Hale's door.

"Dave?" Jenna turned on her "I get everything I want." smile.

"Jenny come in." she did. "Any word on my case?"

"I'm so sorry Jen but I have no leads… why aren't you letting the club take care of it?"

"Call it a gesture of good will … the boys think it's the L.O.A.N. Ya know?"

"I'll fix it Jen I swear… you seeing Jax again?"

"Nope I'm free as a bird he's with Tara…" she forced as smile.

"Wanna go out sometime? We used to have some fun…"

She tried not to cringe. "Yeah sure why not!" that was too easy she thought.

Jenna rolled into the club house.

"Where's Teller?" she asked her brother.

"Shower… want a beer first."

"Why not…"

Meanwhile….

Jax stood in the shower didn't hear the door open and close and then he felt arms go around his waist. The lips on his back were higher than usual. "That's not Jenna." he thought he turned around and was face to face with Ima.

"Watch my beer Op be back…" Jenna wheeled toward the bathroom.

"Hey Baby…I set the trap for Hale it was surprisingly easy…" Jax heard her boots hit the floor and the zipper on her jeans go down the shirt and bra hit the pile next he knew. She pulled back the curtain.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Baby its not I didn't…"

"Why are you even here you sad little crippled bitch?" Ima snarled.

"Oh that… that was the wrong move you cracked out Jenna Jameson wanna be…" she grabbed her by the hair and arm hauling her out of the shower.

"What bugs you more Ima the fact he won't fuck you or the fact that I can do your job better than you do? And lets not forget I'm crippled and still mange to make Jenna Jameson look like a nun." she opened the bathroom door tossing her out stark naked. "You wanna fuck for free honey? Opie's easy…have a nice time."

Jax smiled he couldn't help it.

"Baby that was mean you just tossed her out naked into a room full of horny bikers…"

"Yes, well I happen to be naked in front of you right now gonna do something about it? Been a long time since we had shower sex I'm just saying."

"Get in here before the water gets cold." he grabbed her pulling her in she wrapped herself around him as they squeezing into the tiny shower together. He kissed her hard. Her hands tangled in his hair. He went to slide himself into her. She reached down between them grabbing his member giving him a firm tug.

"Go near porn girl ever again not only will I cut you off I'll cut it off you got me?' he grunted nodding as she ran her hand down his hard shaft. "Good. Now where were we?" he thrust into her gently slowly keeping his pace easy.

"You said you'd never treat me like I was breakable…"

"Let me love you my way please…I need to go slow…I missed you." it was a coupling that was heated but still slow and loving. They came in unison. She pressed her mouth to his neck. "Jax…"

"hmm."

" I love you… so much."

"Love you too Jenna, more than you know." she peered up at him. "Why are you showering at the club.

"Needed away from Tara for a bit…"

"Oh." they heard a girl moaning.

"Oh my god I didn't think he would actually… I feel violated Jax."

"Think she's faking it?" he asked jokingly. The water turned cold "Ahhh." Jenna squealed. "Christ!" Jax swore. They exited the shower laughing.

Two days later…

Gemma walked into the church to find Jax sitting in a pew a little box sitting next to him.

"Son…"

"Ma what are you doing here…"

"Baby asked me to meet her." he smiled. "I asked her to meet me here."

"What's in the box Jax you proposing?"

"No Ma just a present saw it in a shop in Lodi thought she'd like it." They heard her truck pull up. Jax went to help her out of the vehicle. Gemma stopped him.

"She has to do this for herself Jax… just wait for her she can do it." she sat in the truck for a good ten minutes just staring out into space. Before getting out and rolling to the edge of the ramp. "Jax? Gemma?" she called out.

"We're here Baby…" Gemma called out getting up she walked to door Jax following her. They stood on either side of the door watching her struggle with whether or not to come in.

"You can do this Jenna…"

She sniffed back tears catching Jax's gaze. "I'm such a pansy.."

"This is so stupid Jaxy this our place why am I scared I'm not letting them take this from us I'm not." Gemma offered Jenna her hand. She took it Gemma squeezed her hand lightly. She pushed herself in with the other hand. Taking deep breaths. "Its ok to be scared…I sleep with a night light now." Gemma whispered in her ear.

"You changed the mattress and candles and stuff."

"Thought it might help." Jax leaned down kissing her.

"When I made that gun run to Lodi I found this…" he handed her a mahogany stained box polished to shine it had rounded sides and was ornately carved.

"Baby how do I open it." she asked having found no seams or hinges.

"It's a secret box you can only open it if you know the secret…push the sides back" . She did it sprung open. "So you have a place to keep all your secrets and that…" she held up a leather band bracelet with a tiny silver charm a hand with the evil eye symbol in it. Was threaded on it.

"The hand is said to bring god's protection and success and the eye wards off jealousy and evil and with Hale around I thought you could some protection when I can't be around." he put it on her wrist kissing her palm.

"You seem ok now so I'll leave you two…Don't worry Jax I won't tell anybody you did something sweet…" Gemma kissed Jax on the cheek then did the same to Jenna.

As Gemma walked to the car the young lovers laughter carried to her. She smiled you could have happiness in SAMCRO …Rarely…but you could.


	9. Sibling Spats & Dates...

"Aunt Jenny Daddy's passed out drunk again we need a ride to school."

"Fine, get your brother in my truck."

Jenna rolled into Opie's bedroom using the chair to slam through the door. The door hit the wall.

"I don't know what the fuck your problem is Opie but its time to cowboy the fuck up and deal… no more moping no more back sliding no more doing stupid deadly shit no more hating you're children simply because they exist get the fuck up take a goddamn shower get the Ima stank off you go to work do your job and then come spend time with your children feed them bathe them and put them to bed… then do it again tomorrow…"

"Who the fuck do you think you are what the fuck you do you think you know about my life? Huh? You're off being Jax's whore ninety nine percent of the time so butt the fuck out you pretentious little bitch!"

"Number one leave my choices concerning Jax out of it number two What the fuck do I know about your life? I know all about because I've been living it….I take care of your kids I feed you I clean your house I wash your clothes I deal with your children's grief because you cant deal with your own… you want us all to be miserable with you. Congratulations guess what we are…I know all about your life and who the fuck do I think I am I'm someone who loves you and loved her and its killing me seeing you like this but we both know one thing. Donna would be disappointed in you for treating yourself and her children this way. I may be a pretentious bitch… but right now you're a self absorbed asshole…" she rolled out.

Jax felt her before he saw her. He felt the air change. He looked up. She rolled in. In a jerky manner. Her pretty auburn hair pulled into a ponytail and tucked beneath a UCLA ball cap. She wore a neon pink push up bra peeking at him from underneath a lavender tank top and her tied up work shirt. Tight jeans encased her legs her fat babys on her feet. But what drew his eye was her face. Her brow furrowed her pretty eyes squinting at him. Her jaw stubbornly set. Her pretty mouth in a mean little pout.

"Who peed your wheaties baby?"

"Fuck off!"

"No…what's wrong?"

"Don't feel like screwing Jax amuse yourself another way or go find easy ass I'm not in the mood now."

"Don't wanna screw… wanna know what's wrong with you?"

"Sibling spat… he called me your whore and I don't know Jack shit and then I have a date with Hale tonight for the good of the club that you sexist pigs won't let me be a member of…anything else you want to know Jackson?"

"Jenna-"

"And what the fuck is with the tension between you an Opie anyway…"

"I'm not sure where his head is or where his loyalties lie anymore…sorry he was mean to you…and just so you know I'm sorry SAMCRO is one big sexist pig…" he kissed her. "Was the pink you trying to drive me nuts all day?" he ran a fingertip along the curve of her cleavage.

"Don't dodge me Jax why would Opie's allegiance lie anywhere but with you?"

"Ask him. Have fun tonight I gotta make a one man run tonight…catch me before you leave today?" he kissed her lightly. "You bet." he kissed her again deeper. "You're going to blow our cover she laughed kissing him back. "Now I love you but I gotta get to work."

"Alright if you must….love you back Jenna."

As Jenna was leaving after putting her stuff in her locker when she ran into Opie on his way into the back.

"You are not allowed to speak to me!"

"Fine!" she pushed herself halfway to her station before anger took over and she spun around. "You called me a whore! You called me his whore!" she shouted drawing everyone's attention.

"Well if the shoe fits might as well wear it Jen!" he shouted back. Jax was nearly across the room when Piney caught him.

"She can handle her brother."

"You know…Opie you know what…having him… nuh uh no…not happening…" she wiped at her eyes fighting back tears.

"Fine Opie you're right I'm his whore but at least I'm not dead inside…"

"Dead inside? Believe me death would be a blessing Jen!"

"Don't talk like that!" she sobbed. "Gimmie one reason why not its true!"

"Because you have two kids who need you and because you are the only friend I have left!"

"I know your right ok I know that about all of it I know she'd kick my ass if she where here but I can't see my way out of it…but I'm trying here Jen I am just keep on me till I get it right…I'm sorry I called you that and I'm sorry I made you cry…" he handed her his bandana. "I just think you deserve better than the deal your getting now it just came out wrong. Still my friend?" he went to hug her.

"You wash the Ima stink off?" she teased. He nodded she hugged him.

"Show's over move on." Opie said.

Jenna got ready for her "Date." with Hale in the club bathroom. She wore medium wash True Religion jeans with holes placed in a scattered pattern down the front. Patten leather leopard pointed toe Jimmy Choo heels. A one shoulder floral print silk top with a cinched in belted waist . The top trimmed in purple the belt matching. Her hair down and flipped out. Earthy tones brought out her eyes. Shell pink lip gloss accentuated her lips. She exited the bathroom.

"Damn, you're pretty." Halfsack said.

"You look like your Mama…" her dad put in.

"Hale won't know what hit him…" Opie whistled through his teeth.

"You look real nice Jen." Tara added whilst hanging all over Jax. Jax just scowled at her.

" You better hope he doesn't pick you up in his squad car Baby…" Gemma teased. "Don't jinx me Gem."

"Would you please stop scowling at me Jackson…"

"I don't like this…"

"Its not like I'm cheating or something."

He strolled over. Leaned down whispering in her ear. "As long as you end up wrapped around me by the end of the night we're square…" he kissed the pulse point in her neck. "By the way you're gorgeous as always… smell nice too." he walked off leaving Jenna in shock and Tara to eat his dust.

"Might wanna close your mouth Sis." Opie teased. Hale pulled up as Jenna was putting on her coat. she left quickly to avoid the Jax drama.

"Hi Dave!" Jenna greeted warmly as Hale kissed her on the cheek. The SAMCRO crew watched from the window.

"This will end badly mark my words." Opie said.

"Well I hope for the sake of my Jenny's heart your wrong." Piney replied.

"Pop, Jen could marry a preacher and he still wouldn't be good enough in your eyes…"

"You're right and you'll agree once Paige starts dating… and you've never liked when she's dated Jax either…and I don't trust Hale as far as I could throw him."

"Well its…Jax is my brother my friend don't get me wrong…its just…"

"You don't like the idea of the lass putting her heart in his hands when he can so easily break it we all understand…Jennasis is kind of everyone's baby here Opie but she's a big girl and the more you tell her not to do something the more she wants it you know that." Chilbs added in his easy Scottish brogue.

Jenna bit into one of her char broiled shrimp.

"So Davey how's life?"

"Busy… hopefully more fun now that you're back your back for good right Jenna?"

"Only Jax calls me Jenna you know that but yes I am."

"I was disappointed when his little pity party ran you outta town."

"What we went through was harder than anyone knows Dave…I did what I had too." Just then Jax walked in ordering his food to go. What the hell is he doing I thought he was on a run. She thought to herself Luckily Dave couldn't see him from where he sat.

"How the hell can you be so ok Jen I mean… so much was taken from you and you still manage to smile everyday…"

"No use crying over spilt milk."

"Don't you miss it walking I mean?"

"Sometimes I miss two steppin' with Daddy and going for rides by myself but you just deal.. I'm going to use the ladies room be right back."

She went by Jax on the way he took the hint and followed her. The stood in the little hallway outside the bathrooms

"What the hell are you doin' Jax you're gonna blow everything!"

"Just wanted to make sure he was treating you right before I rode to Chico."

"Wait you drove 30 miles outta your way? How'd you find us anyhow?"

"Unser…"

"I'm a big girl Jax I got this!"

"Jenna I…"

"I got it Jax now get on the road you're going to be driving all night if you don't." he leaned down. "Better not kiss on the first date…" he teased. He kissed her quick and chastely on the lips

"You're real riot Teller… love you now get!" she popped him on the butt as he turned to walk away. "Oh you will pay for that later…and I love you too! Have fun!"

"Kiss my ass!" she said as he walked away.

Jenna kept the talk to surface talk for most of the date after Jax left. It went as well as faux date could go she even managed to have a nice time too. After

Dave had dropped her off she went to the church to just think and happened to find both Jax and Abel there.

"Its cold you shouldn't have him out here Jax." she said rolling in.

"I have him bundled up see?" he held Abel he was wearing long johns his winter coat a beanie a scarf gloves and what looked to be socks and little house shoes then Jax had him wrapped in the flannel blanket Jenna kept out there.

"Can he move?"

"Barely."

"What you doin' out here with him?"

"Wanted to hang with my boy and go some place quiet to think sides I knew you'd end up here…" she transferred out of her chair setting on the mattress by him. Abel squealed upon seeing Jenna. Jax handed him over.

"What here thinking' bout? You're run go bad?"

"No not at all… you'd be better of with someone like Hale you know good straight edge guy."

"Straight edges are boring I like you better." Abel smiled at her.

"See he likes me…"

"Only because you're pretty and have big boobs honey…"

"Are you a boob man Abel?"

"He really likes boobs…how'd it go?"

"Just like I thought… Dave's predictable…"

"How long do think this will take you?" she shrugged "Awhile we want him to care about me enough to accept the club and get the league out our territory…"

"Did you kiss him?"

"No not yet…"

"Have you ever?"

"Did you kiss Tara today?" he was quiet. "Don't feel like sharing huh? Why does my past with Dave bother you? I was never in love with him. Only you have that dubious distinction my friend. She got to your heart first though didn't she?"

"Maybe… but you stayed with me even after you left. I was thinking about that today after Opie pointed out what I've made you into…that was probably the only truly selfless thing someone's ever done for me."

"Someone hit my brother with the stupid stick today don't listen to it."

"No he's right Jenna you deserve more than I can give you …"

"Why don't you and Opie let me make my own decisions…accident didn't affect my smarts dude…now where's that JD bottle we hid in here ?"

"Date that bad?"

"Oh you'll be driving me home handsome." she tossed back a shot from the shot glass they usually shared. "Ugh…always sucks going down."

He laughed "Go easy baby sucks even more coming back up."

She shrugged. "Just a couple more then if you're nice you can take me home…that is if Tara isn't there."

"Lucky me she had night shift."

"Very luck you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Sorry I know this was mostly filler but its about to get bumpy so hang on! Please tell me what you thought! ~Meg


	10. Ante Up

Three Months Later…

Jax walked into the Winston house what he saw shocked him. Jenna sat in Hale's lap as the whole family sat around the kitchen table playing a game of bullshit. "Two sevens." Jenna said

"Bullshit!" Jax and Opie said in unison.

"No really two sevens I swear girl scouts honor."

"You lie…" Jax prodded her.

"I do not…"

"And you were never a girl scout." Opie added.

"Forget you all I quit…" Trey flipped over her cards "Liar lair pants on fire." he chanted.

"Well Dave and I have reservations at the new steak house in Eureka anyway so I'm out…" she turned. "Let me change real fast and we can go." she kissed David companionably on the lips then transferred into her chair.

"I need your help fixing Bobby's dinosaur of a fatboy…" Jax directed at Opie.

"Ok but I promised the kids I'd make homemade pizzas first but you're more than welcome to stay."

He nodded. "Be right back gotta use the restroom." he disappeared down the hall after Jennasis Opie knew.

Jenna was looking for her mascara when she heard the knob turn she looked up into the mirror to see Jax slipping in.

"You are either really brave or terribly stupid." she hissed at him. he smirked at her.

"I can't believe you kiss monkey boy and you are not leaving the house in that top not as long you're on his arm." The black garment left her front covered but her back and sides exposed. The sequined black straps formed a diamond the only thing to decorate her bare back. Her crows wings taunting him.

"I wear what I want when I want Teller…and its not his fault he resembles a

monkey be nice." he walked forward the fingertips of his right hand skated down her back. She shied away from his touch. "Stop it!" she warned. Fighting a smile.

"Oh my god you actually like him." he smiled disbelievingly at her.

"I've always liked Dave he's a good guy just a tad misguided but its not like I want to marry him or something." she turned her chair around. "I need you to move your kinda in my way handsome."

"Not till I get a proper hello…and goodbye…" he grabbed her left hand off the wheel it was resting on pulling her closer to him. Raising her hand to his lips he kissed the center of her palm.

"We don't have time for what you consider to be proper greetings and farewells."

"Just a kiss then." taking her chin in between his thumb and forefinger he tilted her face up toward his. He dropped a soft kiss on her mouth. "Hi." she breathed out eyes still closed. "Hi." he replied brushing her bangs out of her eyes. His hands knotted into her hair which was soft and stick straight today. This kiss was hard demanding and territorial. Her nails bit into his sides where her hands rested on his waist. It was a battle of wills a competition. Who was going to break for air first. It wasn't her. She smirked at her small victory.

"Cocky Bitch." she opened her eyes his forehead resting against hers. His eyes analyzing her face.

"You messed up my hair…"

"Baby you alive in there?" Hale hollered through the door.

"Yeah sweetheart gimme just a minute longer."

"Sweetheart?" Jax mouthed silently. Jenna rolled her eyes nodding her head back at the closet behind her. "No way !" Jax mouthed again.

"Go! " Jenna mouthed in reply. Jax moved rather silently in to her closet. She bit back a laugh as Jax slid the closet door closed. She smoothed out her hair checked her lip gloss the opened the door on a smiling Dave.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be…" Jenna teased smiling. "lets roll…" Dave didn't catch the purposeful irony in Jenna's statement but Jax did and bit his lip not to laugh. Hale must be really dull he thought.

Opie laughed. "How long did you have to hide in my sisters closet like a teenage boy nearly caught by her daddy?"

"Not long…and its not funny quit laughing."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How come you stopped singing Jenny?" Hale asked.

She stabbed at a tomato in her dinner salad with her fork.

"I sing Dave…"

"I didn't mean in the shower Jen." she shrugged. "cripples don't get record deals…"

"That's unfair though you're good Babe."

"Life's unfair Dave…"

"So, Why did you start singing?"

She gifted him with a genuine smile. "I sang Jesus loves me so loud Mama had no choice but to put me in choir and it caught Dad's attention the one and only time I've seen him attend church was to watch me perform silent night in the church play when I was twelve…sides I kinda like being the center of attention." she giggled.

Kissing him goodnight wasn't necessarily good but it wasn't bad either… she felt as though she where betraying Jax by even being momentarily content with Dave. It was going to make the conversation she had to have with him tomorrow that much more difficult.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna drummed her nails on the oak meeting table the SOA reaper craved into it seemingly taunting her.

"You had me call this meeting what's up Jen?" Opie asked

"Its been three months and Hale wants some action so unless any of you have plans to get me outta this I'll have to sleep with him… and no we're not putting this to a vote…"

"No." Jax said plainly as though it brooked no arguments.

"Unless you want me to bail on my work before its done you get no choice my body my choice…"

"Not… my… choice…" he said slowly.

"You don't wanna go there with me now Jax."

"No answer me I'm the one person whose opinion should count…."

"So, you'll walk away if you don't get your way? Well it wouldn't be the first time…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you think it means…you lost any right to me my choices or my body long ago."

"Then what the hell are we doing Jenna!"

"Hell if I know!"

She went to roll away. "Leave its what your good at Jenna!" he was leaned up over the table in her face. "Your gonna wanna get out of her face Teller." Opie warned. With tears stinging her she slapped Jax. "I left for you. You condescending asshole. You were the coward who didn't have the balls to come after me!" she rolled off unbelievably angry.

Fifteen minutes later…

"You're really just gonna sit there?" Opie asked.

"I'm right man and you know it."

"Whether you are right or wrong doesn't matter you idiot… what did not going after her get you last time huh?"

"But-"

"But nothing. It got you nothing that and misery that's all it got you… so go after my sister before my good mood runs out and I pop you for getting in her face like that."

He walked out the club she sat facing the metal wall of the shop throwing up. He ran over holding her hair as her lunch hit the concrete.

"Jenna?" once her heaving stopped. "Don't be mad at me." tears dripped down her face. "I don't have any choice Jax I have to do this… the thought of sleeping with him makes me physically ill."

"So, I have to stand by and let you do this…say nothing?" his hand moved from her hair to rub her back.

She nodded. "Either way we stand to lose a lot Jax."

"This shouldn't be happening…"

She laughed. "You know SAMCRO isn't satisfied until it destroys all who love it."

"What scares me is you may be right." he leaned down to kiss the top of her head breathing in her coconut shampoo trying to calm down. His heart told him she was his in all the ways that mattered his head told him he was bound to lose her again.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN:


	11. A Cross Tattoo

"What ya doin?" Dave asked. Jenna bit her slice of pepperoni pizza. She looked away from the laptop. "I am doing research for a memorial tattoo for Donna."

"That's sweet Babe." she shrugged turning back to the laptop. He kissed top of her head.

"If it'll help one of us in our grief it can't hurt."

"You're so busy taking care of others. Has anyone taken care of you asked how you were holding up without her?"

"Here and there… don't wanna talk about it David."

"Why not?"

"Because I just don't ok!"

"You never let me…or anyone else in you know that!" he said snidely.

"That's my right." she grabbed her cell phone. Punching numbers with more force than needed.

"Hey meet me at that tattoo shop on Bleekman. Ok bye !" "I'll be back later." she spat the words at Hale and left.

He saw her setting against the brick wall outside the shop

"Ok so why am I at a tattoo shop at ten thirty at night?"

She looked over. "Hey Op, Wanna get a tattoo with me?"

"You are nuts…why would we get a random tattoo?"

"Its not random…for Donna a physical outlet for emotional pain."

"I think that's a great idea…maybe not the best way to deal with your grief."

She laughed. "Says the man with a death wish."

"Touché… so this tattoo what you got planned?"

"A Celtic cross… Jax drew it up for me…" she showed him.

"They could make mine less girly and we could match…" he smirked.

"Lets do it then…" he opened the door for her calling in to the shop owner. "Ernie we're back!"

Their tattoos now done. "Lets get some dinner you ate yet?"

"No Hale's nosy ass ruined my pizza…"

"Trouble in paradise? We have to take your truck cause I rode my bike…"

"Don't make me hit you! Fine I'll drive…" fifteen minutes later they sat in Lumpy's diner looking at menus.

"We've come here since we were six you think we'd already know our orders…" Opie mused. "Now what did Barney Fife do?" he continued.

"I'm having the taco salad… he says I don't let people in.."

"You don't but if I called you on it that would be the pot calling the kettle black."

"I just …the accident…Jax leaving me it changed me, changed how I deal."

"Hm, that's interesting Jax looks at it like you left him and yet you see it as he left you…" Alma came to take their orders. "Taco salad for the lady, chicken fried steak dinner for me and two iced teas please. Thanks Alma."

"No problem Y'all."

"So, Why won't you let your quasi-boyfriend in?"

She laughed. "You know what quasi actually means…"

"You're a laugh a minute Jen…answer."

"I'm already going to have to let him in somewhere I really don't want him now you want me to let him see my squishy emotional core?"

"I mean come on I'm Jennasis I'm tough as nails no one… well almost no one sees my squishy…I'm unsquishy fucking unsquishy Opie…'

" Ok ok I get it you no squishy." He laughed. "So, you guys figured out how to get me out of this to fuck or not to fuck situation?"

"Unfortunately for you and Jax it's a no." Alma brought their food.

"I don't want to do this…"

"I know you don't but you have him right where we need him…. My advice pretend you are somewhere else." he cut into his steak.

"Top notch advice bro… you know what I want…I want to find Jax and force him to watch grey's anatomy with me….and do absolutely nothing."

"Donna loved that show me too…" his face crunched a little in thought.

"It didn't hurt to remember that."

"Good…" she stabbed her salad with the fork.

"I think you should get your own place Jen…I think I can do it now…I mean don't go far but I can do it."

"Alright who'd you leave the kids with?"

"Ima."

"You left your children… my neice and nephew with the porn queen?"

"She's not so bad Jen."

"Uh huh don't get the clap." He laughed "Love you Jen and thanks for…everything."

"Part of my job description as your sister no big deal."

Three days later…

Jenna tried to be anywhere else mentally anywhere else at all but she couldn't transport herself elsewhere. She lay beneath Hale having the most clinical dispassionate sex of her life it was merely a meeting of two bodies to her. Hers was on autopilot Dave didn't seem to notice. This was a victory for Hale finally getting to thumb his nose at Jax Teller by bedding the one that slipped thorough his fingers. Teller's precious Jenna was his.

Jenna texted Opie shortly after.

"The deed is done."

"How bad?" came his reply.

"I felt nothing may need fake it lesson's from Ima…"

"LOL!"

"Don't laugh I'm making you tell Jax for me…."

"That is not in my brotherly job description."

"Is now! Night love you!"

"Back at ya Sis."

At the shop…

"Ok dude so don't yell at me or hit me I'm just the messenger…" Jax gave Opie a side long glance. "Oh-kay…"

"Jen…kinda… sorta.. Maybe a lil' bit slept with Hale."

"Where is she?"

"I…"

"Where is your sister?"

"Still at Hale's I think…" Jax revved his bike taking off. "Don't mess up everything she's done." Opie yelled after him.

Jenna Rolled down to the mailbox for David. There was junk mail bills and a package with her name on it. She opened it pulling out a white mask it was the mask her attackers wore. Her blood ran ice cold. Jax parked his bike a little bit away from Hale's place and walked over. He got lucky she was checking the mail. He tapped her shoulder. Quicker than he could blink she pulled a gun from the waistband of her jeans behind her pointing it at blindly at Jax's chest.

"Jesus!"

"Jax god you scared me." she dropped the gun onto the concrete with tear filled eyes.

"Jax I.. I.. I've just been so on edge lately and I know you are probably mad at me for the Hale thing I just carry it to protect myself then I got sent this…" she held up the mask. "My attackers wore these and they sent it to Dave's which means they are utterly fearless or Dave's on there side still and is just using me…" she took a wheezing shaky breath. " I nearly shot you I love you and I…I nearly shot you." he kissed her in order to silence her. "But you didn't so its cool."

"Its not cool…"

"It is if I say it is woman I ain't bleedin' no harm no foul." he kissed her again lightly.

"You should probably not kiss me in Hale's front yard in broad daylight for god and everyone to see…"

"Probably not…" he scrunched up his face "one more quick one for the road." this one was just a quick peck.

"Now, if its all the same to you I'll take your firearm with me." he picked it up tucking it in to the back of his pants. She reached into his left front pocket pulling out his folded up switchblade. She tucked it into the red bandana tied around her right wrist.

"Trade me one deadly weapon for another…nice." he smirked. She shrugged.

"Take the mask in show Hale see if he's still on your side if not I'll handle it."

"Kay."

"Love you see you at work."

"Ditto." she rolled off he walked back to his bike once she was safely inside Hale's home.

A week later...

The boys ruined her lunch with Hale. When Dave had to break up a fight between SAMCRO and The League.

Jenna threw down her purse on the bar.

"They pushed over your bike so just had to incite a riot in damn street like a fucking hothead amateurs…" she hollered at Jax. "And you Opie Winston!" she rolled over slapping him about the head and shoulders. "Broke your promise to me no more stupid shit remember saying that?"

"Dad she's being mean to me make her stop!"

"Mean I'll show you mean you snarky asshole." she slapped him harder than she intended. "Your kids have one parent one…" She said breath heaving. She rolled off. Jax followed her out.

"Jenna."

"Yeah."

"Your plan worked apparently. Hale gave me his dirt on us. He had Op blowing up that meth lab on tape his face as plain as day… he had him and he just handed it over. For you I think."

She nodded "So, we're stuck."

"For now at least." he watched her run her hands through her hair in agitation.

"So does Hale have anything on them? You know the Aryans attacked auto right nearly blinded him."

"Dave can't get a handle on them they have friends in high and low places. They have more money at there disposal than we could ever hope to have. They are smart Jax and they are damned clean as a whistle. He couldn't even lift a damn print off the mask they sent me You retaliate now you'll fuck yourself over we don't know what we're dealing with yet babe. Get your votes Jax you'll need them. Opie's going to follow Clay… loyalty to the king and all that bullshit don't take it personally he's lost…I gotta go get Trey from school. Get my purse for me?" he returned with her purse. He kissed her quick and sly.

"See ya Jaxy Baby." she smirked

"See ya my Jenna."


	12. Stupid Mistakes

Jenna went to the shop as soon as she heard about Chibs. Now she stood out of sight as Dave and Jax conversed. It made her nervous her heart beat funnily as a result. She rolled forward as though nothing where wrong. Hale leaned down kissing her "Hey baby what ya doing here?"

"Heard about Chibs just wanted swing by and check in. Hey Jax you ok?" she cocked her head at him. "Just fine Darlin'"

"What you guys talking bout?"

"Just covering things from all sides baby." Hale replied "Stick close to your Dad, Opie, or Me please…" Dave added.

"Ok I'll just go check in with Daddy…"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Jenna…Clay's on the warpath baby Piney's on babysitting detail…" Jax told her.

"Ok I'll Just go say hi to your Mama then."

Jenna rolled over to Gemma and Tara she got the feeling she'd just broken up a tense moment. Jax followed closing behind Jenna.

Tara proceeded to wrap herself around Jax.

"Are you in Danger?" She whispered. Jenna rolled her eyes and Gemma smirked.

"They blew a up damn van in our parking lot what the fuck do you think Einstein? Yes, he's danger how'd you manage to become a doctor… get your diploma off a cereal box?" Jenna huffed rolling off. Jax's first instinct was to follow after her like always but he couldn't Hale was here and it was to public.

Later on Jenna sat as hidden as she could listening to Opie and Jax argue. Apparently her mother had stopped Jax and asked him to talk to Opie. He had started flaking and hadn't seen the kids in a week. He had lied to her saying he had it under control. Jenna was madder than wet hen.

"Jax mind your own damn business deal with your own crap like fact that you use my sister like cheap whore or the fact that you can't swallow your pride and fall in line. When you fix your stuff then you can horn in on mine."

"I know what I'm doin"

"Yeah you just wanna change SAMCRO this beef you got with Clay has nothing to do with club and everything to do we with your ego shut up and fall in line this is Clay's club its not your time yet my friend…if your not careful you'll end up dead…and if I have to carry my baby sister through that I revive you just to kill you myself."

Opie walked out brushing past Jenna. "Night Baby…"

"Night Op love you…"

"Ditto kid."

Jax went to walk out of the bedroom. Jenna shoved him back in. "Hello Jenna nice to see you too baby." Jenna swung the door shut once she was in. "Hi." she grabbed his blue flannel shirt yanking him down to her level. She kissed him hard. "Feel the need to mark your territory Jenna."

"Oh shut up we don't have long." she growled against his lips.

"We never do!" he laughed. Kissing her back.

"Ok stop kissing and talk to me."

"About?"

"You know full well what about !"

"We kill Zobelle plain and simple Chibs attack demands retribution I couldn't get Clay to see beyond blind retaliation."

"This is stupid we don't know enough yet its going to blow up in all your faces… do me a favor don't get killed. Or arrested be fucking careful Jax don't half ass this don't hot shot gunsling just get the shit done and be clean about it."

"Why yes ma'am I believe why I believe I can do that?" he gave her his best foghorn leghorn impression.

"I'm serious Jax."

"I'll be careful I promise." she kissed him and rolled away he caught her arm turning her to face him. "Baby?" he said lowly "What?" he pulled out her gun placing it her in hand the weight of it made her feel powerful and safe.

"Keep that on you at all times…and Jenna?"

"Hm,"

"I love you."

"Something bad is about to go down isn't it?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not Tara you don't have to apologize to me Jax." she wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him close resting her forehead against his stomach.

"Sometimes I wish you where shorter." she whispered He laughed squatting down. Wrapping her in his arms they where as close as her chair would allow. Her nose pressed into the crook of his neck. She breathed deep.

"I miss you… but I understand if everything with Hale has put you off."

"As soon as this is over… there is no place I'd rather be than with you Jenna just like this…"

"You're sure?"

"Never more sure of anything in my life…You need to go before Hale catches us honey." she leaned back slightly to look at him. He threaded a strand of her hair through his fingers before tucking it behind her ear. "Watch Opie?" she asked. He nodded "Now go," he unraveled himself from her standing up she took the gun from where it lay on her lap tucking into the back of her jeans. She rolled out the door clicking shut behind her. "I hope I just didn't lie to her." he thought to himself flopping back on the bed.

The next day Jenna texted Jax just to check in

* Hey my baby how's your day going?*

*Lets see I'm working with Hale of my own free will and your brother has become my shadow reporting back to Clay every five minutes I nearly got Weston's little hate mongering Nazi mini me shot now we may shoot up a church. How are you baby?*

*I'm sorry I asked.*

*LOL*

*Jackson you really shouldn't shoot him in the church*

*Its not really a church it's a Christian Center. You are one to talk we have sex in a church on a regular basis.*

* You say tomato I say tah-mah-to. Just so you know what we do is a completely different thing.*

*I love you… stick close to Hale until I come find you. I can't believe I just said that*

* I love you too be careful*

Opie circled his parents house four times before working up the nerve to tell Jenna. He got off the bike walking in.

"Mama left again… big fucking surprise." she said by way of greeting.

"She bails Jen that's her thing…we'll be fine. I have something I need to tell you?

"He's not dead is he?"

"No just in jail…we got misinformation it wasn't a membership rally it was a church dinner with a bunch of innocent unsuspecting people kids even."

"Jesus Motherfucking Christ Opie how fucking stupid can you all be…"

Weston fired the first shot through the pulpit I don't think we hurt anyone but still…"

"So you are the only one on the outside? Why are you walking funny?"

"Flew off my bike leaving but I'm fine…and yeah I'm the only one who got away clean."

"There are some miracles I guess… I …I need a minute watch the kids. She rolled into the bathroom slamming the door. Opie could hear her sobs over the running water.

Three days later Tara saw her opportunity to leave Jax and took it he was never going to change he wasn't meant for her she knew that now. Jennasis could have him she was done.

Gemma managed to get the guys bailed out they stood in the parking lot waiting for Jax and Clay to get out of the car

"Tara left charming?" Jax asked. Jenna nodded. He kissed Jenna's forehead and went into the club as Clay wordlessly went into the shop. Gemma and Jenna looked at one another.

"I got Jax." was all Jenna said and began rolling toward where he'd scurried off too.


	13. The Pain Of Knowing

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She found Jax leaning on the pool table. Holding on so tight his knuckles were white.

"Honey talk to me."

"No, Jenna…"

"Why not?"

"Nothing happened!" he growled at her.

"Oh yeah then what's with the shiner and the swollen lip? That cut on your forehead. That's nothing too right baby?"

"Jenna honey I can't tell you ok I can't if he knew you knew he'd kill us both!"

"Turn around and look at me Jackson now you have to tell me! Whatever this thing its tearing you and Clay and this club apart!"

He turned around with tears in his eyes. Breath hitching. "I can't tell you… you'll hate me… hate this club hate it all… I do."

"Jax just say it honey."

"Clay put a hit out on Opie when he thought he snitched to the feds and got Donna instead."

Jenna turned chalky white. "I'm gonna be sick." she rolled off quickly.

After she emptied her stomach. "You let them put a hit on my brother in the first place?"

"Jesus no Jenna baby I thought I had convinced Clay to call it off and then Op and Donna switched cars and Donna ended up dead. He went behind my back and did it anyway.

"Opie doesn't know?"

"No baby this would kill him we're his family."

"No, I'm his family Jax I'm his family!"

"Does my Daddy know?"

"Yes."

Jenna laughed sobbing "And he stayed… they tried to kill his child and he stayed! And Clay just gets away with this he gets away with it?" she rinsed her mouth out with the scope Opie had left there still sobbing.

"Jennasis I'll make sure he pays I promise you he's gonna pay." he pulled her to him. He leaned down kissing her harder than he intended.

"Please don't hate me …" he begged kissing her again softer.

"I don't you didn't pull the trigger. I… I gotta go though I can't be around Clay right now…I'll come back I'm not leaving you I…I just need air Jax." she rolled away from him. "Jenna I love you."

"I know." she looked back at him. "Bye baby."

Jenna drove around aimlessly for hours crying before she ended up at the spot where she and Donna used to come to talk. It overlooked Charming and was one of her favorite places. She pulled out her cell phone and called her father hoping he wasn't on a bender and that he actually had cell service up at the cabin.

"Yes my darling daughter." he answered on the fourth ring.

"Clay killed Donna!"

"He told you."

"I made him."

"Where are you?"

"The point."

"Go back to him Baby this wasn't his fault… the guilt it eats at him."

"It eat at you too knowing they nearly killed your son and you stayed!"

"Jennasis!"

"What Daddy its true!"

"Listen John Teller and I created this and it turned into a monster I'm going to fix it put it back the way John and I meant for it to be. Clay Morrow will pay for Opie and for Donna you have my word Baby."

"You and Jax always Mister Fix Its do you ever think something might be to far gone to fix?"

"Never! We're optimist why do you think you like him so much we're a lot alike Me and Jax. Now go back to your boy I think Hale's on nights your in the clear and Op has the kids."

"Dad is Op gonna make it?"

"We'll make sure he does."

"Daddy do me favor don't drink yourself stupid tonight I'll worry."

"You always worry you're my worrier…"

"Daddy…."

"I promise no stupors tonight… ok…"

"Ok."

"I love you night night Baby."

"Love you too night Daddy."

She parked her truck in Gemma's alley so Hale wouldn't see it and walked/rolled to Jax's place she quickly rapped on the door it was chilly out she folded her hands into the oversized SAMCRO sweatshirt that smelled like her father's polo cologne.

The door swung open. "Jenna! I thought …"

"I'm sorry I was mean and forgot to say I love you back but I do… I didn't mean to take this out on you its just…you know what I seem remember a certain someone promising me his full attention at the first opportunity…and Hale's working nights. S-" that was all it took he cut her off with a kiss pulling her inside. He slammed the door shut. Picking her up he left the chair in the entryway. He broke the kiss long enough to yank the sweatshirt over her head. Her bra landed on the coffee pot as they passed the kitchen

"Nice aim where you taking me?" she asked. As he nipped at her bare shoulder.

"You have to ask that means we've really been apart to long." he chuckled "Or that Hale is a really shitty lover…" He added.

"It's like fucking the tin man all stiff and mechanical… make him go away?"

"My pleasure…" he laid her gently on the bed. "Oh my god Jax I don't think we've had sex in actual bed with sheets and pillows and blankets the whole time I've been back." he laughed at her almost giddy expression as he pulled off her terry cloth sweat pants.

After making slow almost tortuous love they lay entangled. Jenna tracing the a in Abel with her fingertip.

"What did you do in the years you where gone? Where'd you go Opie and Piney hardly talked about you."

"I asked them to keep quiet for your sake I wanted you to heal." she pressed her lips to the A and could almost feel his heart beating. "Or at least have a shot at it… I worked in bars auto shops record stores and one very pitiful Wal-Mart in Texas City, Texas and yes that's a real place I also lived in New York City, Los Angelas, Tunica Mississippi, and Savannah Georgia! Mostly I just missed you though."

"Missed you too every day all day. It was like breathing it eventually went numb. You where always there under my surface. Wendy knew and hated me for it."

"I'm sorry."

"And I'm not what else did you miss besides me."

"My dad…Donna who would keep from destroying whatever phone I was using after speaking to my mother I usually beat them on tables, I missed watching the sunrise at the point, I missed Opie's smile that quick wide one we never see anymore…the Joshua trees. I missed fixing you breakfast and watching the morning sun inch its way across your face. What did you miss? Because I could go on forever…lets see I dyed my hair blue a month after I left too…"

"Blue really why baby?"

"Marge Simpson blue and I'm still not quite sure why."

He laughed. "Lets see what'd I miss… the feel of my finger tips on your skin…you're smell you're smile …pressing my lips to yours whenever I pleased… feeling at home in someone's eyes… I missed all that you are Jenna you are my home." she had tears in her eyes.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." she swallowed "I'm ok…no one can love me like you." she said thickly. "Gonna marry me this time?" She smiled brightly.

"Even if your hair was blue." she laughed. "We need to find a way for you to ditch Hale."

"Worry bout it later. Just hold me til I have to leave."

"Nothing in the world I'd rather do."


	14. Splinters

Jenna woke to the sunlight shining in her eyes. She peered up to see Jax watching her.

"Hi."

He smiled. "Morning baby."

"How long you been awake?"

"Bout an hour you looked to pretty and comfy laying on me to wake up." she kissed him then with a squeak her eyes popped open. She broke the kiss looking at the clock stating it was 8:15 A.M.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

"What Babe?"

"Hale's Shift changes at Six."

"Just tell him you woke up early to look at houses with my mama… she'll cover for you." Abel began crying. "I'll get him." Jenna offered. "Nah, me and my boy mornings its our thing… make me breakfast?"

"Sure." "I'll call Hale tell him I'm caught up you call your mom to back me up."

"You bet…"

Jax was shoveling in scrambled eggs unceremonsly when his phone rang.

" Yeah be right there." he hung up.

"Sorry baby gotta head to Caracara…issues with stolen stuff… need a ride to work?"

"Jax I don't think I'll be able to work at TM anymore because of Clay."

"You could help out Luanne at Caracara…"

"Ok… I'll go with you we need to drop Abel off…" the baby nurse swept in

"Nevermind…"

They went to club to get some of the boys for back up. Opie and Bobby chose to go with them. Opie smiled at his sister who sat in the passenger side of the van. "Morning Glory." he greeted.

"Morning Bubba."

"Where were you last night?" Jenna grinned and raised her eyebrows. "Jesus." he muttered swinging himself into the seat directly behind her. He leaned forward narrowing his eyes at her neck. He moved her hair.

"He bit you."

"What?"

"There is a full set of teeth! He bit you! Freaks…" she moved her hair and flipped down the visor. She looked in the mirror sure enough there were bruised purple teeth marks on her neck. "Goddamn it Jax!"

"What'd I do now…" he said getting in the van. She showed him the offending spot.

"I could say sorry but I'm really not."

"Jax!"

"What? You used to wear those marks with pride."

"I used to not fake date the deputy sheriff too you idiot he's gonna notice a mark he didn't put there."

"Just cover it up were all cool." Bobby provided.

"You have that base stuff in your purse?" Opie asked. "I have a teenage daughter he defended himself from the looks he got.

"I have some old Tattoo cover up in there."

"I'll cover it up for you. How the hell did you manage that its like half way on the back and half on the front of her neck…wait never mind forget I asked."

Bobby peered over "Does it hurt? it looks like it hurts."

"How you get so good at that Opie?" Jax teased as Opie was intent on his work of covering up the mark.

"I'm trying not to hurt her…" He shrugged. "And some times I help Lyla cover up her back tatt before she has a shoot."

"Oooh Lyla." Jenna teased. "Shut up! All fixed."

"Thank you Bub…"

"No problem."

"You and Lyla really seriously?" Jenna twisted to look at him

"We're friends and the kids like her… don't go getting all judgey about the porn thing.."

"I did say anything no I didn't… she make you smile?" he shot her a fake grin.

"You look like an axe murder don't do that!"

"I can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed for real."

"Me neither Op, but Donna doesn't begrudge you happiness where ever she is…its ok to live."

"Don't wanna talk about it Jen."

"Alright…"

Jax lifted Jenna out of the van. "I can do that you know…"

"I know you can just like having you in my arms is all." he situated her in the chair. He captured her chin in his hand and pressed his lips to hers.

"Family dinner at Mom's at eight be there ok…"

"Jax…"

"Please for me I need you…" And he had her.

"Shit ok…"

"Love you…"

"Love you more obviously I am subjecting myself to one of our nutty ass family dinners."

Jenna was busy filing away a girls medical records for Luanne when Lyla came over. The girl was blonde and pretty in the girl next door kinda way. Barring the porn thing she gave her brother points for good taste.

"Listen Jenna I know you don't like me…"

"Don't know the first thing about you sweetheart gotta get to know you before I can decide what I do and don't like."

"I know you don't approve of what I do."

"Not my first career choice no but now I work here to I won't throw stones."

"You're real protective of Opie I like that."

"Don't hurt him he deserves a little peace you hurt him I hurt you we clear?"

"Opie is a good guy I don't get good guys all my boyfriends before Op hit me."

"Opie won't ever hit you. He's a man's man that ain't his style…"

"Op, he loves you a lot and thinks real highly of you so I'd like it if maybe we could be friends…I know Op's wife Donna was your best friend but sometimes you just look like you could use a friend Jenna."

"We can try and be friends sure just one thing…." Jenna smiled. "Only Jax calls me Jenna…otherwise…its kinda porn star-ish." Jennasis giggled.

"I love the irony that's funny." Lyla said

Jenna set her purse down on the island in Hale's kitchen.

"Hey, Dave sorry I missed you this morning and I have a family dinner at Gem's I gotta go to but I can fix you something before I leave…I'm sorry sweetie I'd take you with me but it's a "Family" dinner and I didn't think you'd feel to comfortable."

He walked in from deeper in the house buttoning the cuffs of his work shirt.

"Its ok Jenny I gotta pick up Kellerman's shift. I'll just get something at Lumpy's." He kissed her cheek. "Be careful getting out to Gemma's its supposed to rain hard tonight."

"Ok…"

"Bye babe love you."

"Love you too be careful."

"I will." and He was gone when his cruiser started up she sighed. "That was easy." she went to work on her Mac &Cheese for the dinner.

Jenna had to smile when Lyla walked in as modestly dressed as possible for her. Rice Krispies in hand Trey and Paige trailing behind her the girl was trying.

"Wanna ride with me I'm nervous."

"Sure why don't we take my truck."

Jenna smiled at her. "I would say relax it won't be so bad…but somebody always gets drunk and punches somebody."

"Tell me you're Joking ."

"Nope can't … sorry last time we had a potluck like this one Jax and I chose that as our coming out as a couple event…Op hit Jax with the gravy bowl then punched him and punched him and punched him till it took six people to pull him off…"

"Why?"

"I was off limits…at least that's the way Opie saw it… I was…am still I guess…smart, talented, better than SAMCRO… better than the likes of Jax Teller. Opie helped raise me even though he's only seven years older than me. He wanted me to a lawyer or a doctor anything but Jax Teller's old lady and Jax knew all that going into it so he got his ass kicked."

"Gemma we're here." Jenna called out. She rolled herself into the kitchen to set down her dish. She ran smack dab into Tara Knowles.

"Huh, thought you finally made your angry girlfriend exit guess I can't really be that lucky."

"Moved out of Charming and left Jax but kept my job or so I thought I might not be that lucky now… anyways Gemma invited me when she visited Chibs."

"That was nice of her." Jenna replied sarcastically rolling past her.

Lyla was right behind her. "We serving hand jobs for dessert now." Tara muttered.

Lyla smacked down the dessert filled pyrex dish on to the table

"That's real nice In front of the kids…" Lyla said.

"Wait Lyla don't pay attention to Doctor Quinn Medicine Bitch…come back." Jenna called out.

Jenna heard Abel crying so she went to get him upon returning Jax and Clay were yelling at each other it was utter chaos. "Yeah well now Ottto's locked up and blind with a dead wife! That's on you Jax."

"I'm not the one murdering women!" Jenna's jaw dropped just a fraction. Gemma broke a dinner platter on the table and it was deadly silent all but for Abel screaming fearfully from her arms. Jenna kissed his cheek catching Gemma's eye

"Son of a bitch! He told her!" Gemma thought.

Abel was getting really loud. "He wants you." Jenna told Jax.

"I'm mad…I shouldn't right now."

"Yes, you should just breathe… go on take him…"

"I need out of here."

"Ok, the church?" he nodded. "Op?" Jenna said.

"don't worry I got 'em." he said

As Gemma turned down their bed.

"Clay Jennasis knows… I saw it in her eyes."

He sighed. "I'll handle it."

"Don't hurt her Clay that's someone I love."

"Why do you think Jax is still alive Gemma?"


	15. Burning

enna walked into the meeting room to find Clay pointing a gun at Jax as he turned giving Clay an easy shot. "Whoa What the-" Clay's hand snaked out grabbing her by the hair he dragging her over he pressed the gun to her temple. "What did I say was going to happen if you mentioned that again Jax said I was gonna kill ya didn't I?" Well your pretty little lady here is just gonna be a little collateral damage and you get to watch all because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."

Jenna looked closely at Jax he was scared. "Let's take stock here Clay." Jenna said calmly. "What's gonna happen if you kill me? A founding member's only baby girl… first my dad even with his emphysema is going to rip you to shreds all on his own the then there is my possessive and overly protective lover my now psychopathic brother and my cop boyfriend they will just take turns filing you full of holes and torturing so that there is nothing left for the rest of the crew to do but pick your bones clean. Then you'll really wish you coulda just been put in jail for it where you'd be taking it up the ass from some big black mother fucker named Bubba who likes for you to call him Daddy because lets face it anything is better than what SAMCRO will do to you." Clay flung Jenna toward Jax. As quick as they could blink Jax fired Six consecutive shots over Clay's shoulder. "Those were warning shot's touch her again and I will not miss. Ma or no Ma."

They walked out.

Jenna was pale and shaking "I n-n-need Opie someone go get him p-please."

Jax was startled. "Someone just get my brother please." her breathing was starting to quicken Juice took off to get Opie. He was there before Jenna could blink. "What's happening?" Jax asked.

"She's having a panic attack…she had them after her accident and again after her attack I'm the only one who can get her through them." she was sweating now too. Opie squatted down taking her face in his hands.

"Look at me just at me."

"Can't breathe…"

"Yes you can… you're talking to be you're breathing now lets get your heart rate down before the AD kicks in. Deep Breath…good girl…A is for?"

"Apple."

"B"

"Baby."

"C."

"Caracara."

"She's still in there." Opie smiled.

Meanwhile inside.

"Tig burn down the church on the Kilner land. Little bitch will not talk to me that way."

"What?"

"Do what I said Tig."

Jenna sat in Dave's living room when the scanner spilled out . "Structure fire abandoned church on Kilner property 10-32 causalities unknown."

Without hesitation or thought Jenna got in her truck and headed toward the church.

Jenna pulled out her Cell phone dialing Jax…. "Please pick up Jax please please, please, please."

She gunned her engine.

Opie appeared out of no where breath heaving as Jax worked on an old Chevy truck.

"You're church its on fire Clay told me he saw Jenna heading that way bout an hour ago…Lyla's got the car running lets go…" Jax left his phone on the tool cart in the empty shop as he took off.

They entered the lot on different sides the pitch black of night would make it hard too see each other but for the flames eating at their special place. Jenna arrived first by mere minutes. "Jax! Jax!" She screamed. Rolling toward the inferno that would quickly be embers. Dave stopped her at the caution tape. In full cop mode. "Jenna what are you doing here?"

"Jax he might be in there! Don't just fucking stand there do something!"

"Why would Jax be in there? If anyone was in there they are long dead Jenna!"

"Don't call me Jenna!" she screamed breaking into sobs.

"He won't answer his phone David."

"That doesn't-"

"He always answers when I call always no matter what it's a rule. Ever since the attack!"

Lyla pulled the car to a screeching halt they all bailed out. "Jenna!" Jax Screamed running blindly at the fire. He vaguely heard Opie desperately calling her name then he spotted her standing next to Hale her mascara streaked face had never looked more beautiful to him. He ducked under the caution tape crossing to her. He saw her exhale her relief evident. Without thinking of where they were or what it would mean for them he kissed her. Hard. His ownership made known in the action. Once they broke apart she didn't look to Hale. He walked off. "I hear Op's stomp so unless you wanna get tackled move." Jax moved to her side. Opie crushed her in a hug. She heard him sob a tiny sound that died in her hair.

"I'm ok…shhh…I'm ok…"

"That was close Jenny."

"Wait what made you think I was in there?"

"Clay." Jax said as he moved to stand behind her. He squatted down looping his arms around her shoulders. "So, we just watch it burn?"

"Sis, whoever did this knows what they are doing and that church is old so it went up like kindling there's nothing they can do but contain it."

Jenna watched her safety net burn. This was the one place where "Old Jenna" and "New Jenna." could be. " Just Jenna." because in Charming people tended to view her as two separate entities of the same person. " pre-crippling and post crippling." it eschewed how everyone viewed her to some degree. Jax sometimes looked at her as though he made her this way. It was usually a quick there and gone look now but it was still there. It had Opie even more protective. In fact he must of read her thoughts as he took her hand in his they all stood in perfect silence with nothing but the crackling of wood burning and the sting of acrid smoke mingling with the air to irritate their eyes and noses to break up the monotony.

Jenna wondered if Clay realized what he'd just done. He had burned down more than a love nest. He burned down her girl hood playhouse where she had tea parties with her teddy bears. Where the boys played war. Where her copper colored silk prom dress hit the floor and she was forever bound by love to Jax Teller. He had burned a holy place and someday some way he would pay.

She sniffed back tears. "Opie you seem to be at Clay's right hand so tell him I got his message loud and clear. Also, make sure he knows he doesn't know who he's fucking with. I'm going home."

"Baby?"

"I'll be at Dad's Jax."

Around Two A.M.

Jax got into Jenna's bed. He stared up at her O'Keefe painting. "Jax."

"Hm…"

"Dad's not here and I'm not eighteen anymore you don't have to sleep in your clothes to make a quick escape anymore get undressed." he undressed and got back in bed curling around her.

The next morning he was gone when she awoke. Lyla had invited her to go shopping and have a girls day. So she waited in the empty club house for Opie to drop off Paige and Lyla. She watched as Opie kissed Lyla in the parking lot. She saw the crushed look that fell onto Paige's pretty face. She'd have to talk to Opie about being more sensitive to Paige who had been a die hard Mama's girl. Opie answered his phone as they entered. "What? Who? He's what? Wait let me get my sister…Well she's gonna wanna talk to him…Dammit Bobby don't-" "Hang up on me." Opie finished.

"What?" they all looked at him.

"Caracara was burned to the ground Jax thinks this one was Clay and he's demanded a transfer he said he was going nomad."

"Oh no he's not!"

"Jenna I think-"

"I didn't ask your opinion Harry! He will not do this to me again…He made me a damn promise!" she rolled out.

"Where are you going?"

"To find Gem I'll need back up and or someone to keep me from killing him care to tag along?"

"You kiddin' I ain't missin' this. Lets go! You got them Lyla? Sorry Honey duty calls."

"You'll get used too it. " Jenna added as they walked out.


	16. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Used: Lane's Theme by Bill Conti

"You're sure he's going nomad Baby?" Gemma asked her.

"Came straight from my brother's mouth Gem and he's never lied to me not over big stuff anyway…god I'm nervous I need a piano or a guitar.. Something to do with my hands here he comes…" Jenna sat back and let Gemma do the talking for now.

"Where you going to tell me? Her?"

"Yes, of course I was…and I'm sure you two are going to tell me not too."

"I'm not going to tell you to do shit Jax I'm just going to say my peace then you can do what you're going to do… besides it's a while before the vote but gonna I'm let your Momma go first so sit down."

" This is stupid Jax leaving is dangerous…but I guess your mind is made up…you know I loved your father more than I've loved any man ever he was a good man. Great lay, smart, big heart, complicated… remind you of anyone?"

"Rings a few bells…" Jenna said smirking.

"It was those complications that got him killed… I don't think he just ended up in front of that truck he put himself there…he buckled…read page 449 of his book you still wanna leave then? Well, you get back to me…Your turn Baby."

She rolled forward and slapped him upside the head hard.

"You made me a promise. You arrogant self centered fucking bastard! You have a goddamn kid Jax! I can't go with you…a wheelchair doesn't exactly fit on a bike! Fine break your promise! You'd never leave me huh fucking goddamn sorry ass liar!"

"You think I want to leave you? Abel? Ma? Come on Jenna. I don't wanna leave honey I have to I can't breathe here." He reached for her. She rolled back. "Don't touch me." She sniffed back tears.

"I'm not a woman who begs no matter how bad I want too…Gemma I'll come in tonight to fix that Toyota. I'm going home… they will give you what you want Jax. If you have the guts to tell me bye I'm staying at dad's since he's still at the cabin.

"Jennasis I…"

"Never once have I ever doubted your love for me Jax."

"And I love you even though this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. Second only to letting me leave you…" She rolled out. "Opie take me home please…"

"I like her style…she's perfect for you. You know? Don't ever let that go again at least not without putting up a hell of a fight." Gemma advised.

Jenna sat at home watching soap operas and old eighties movies while she waited for the vote.

*I need to go bed shopping* Opie texted her.

*Why*

*Had sex with Lyla but couldn't do it in the bed… mine and Donna's bed that's all I kept thinking if I do it on the bed its like betraying her so we ended up on the floor but anyway I need a new bed.*

*Not to sound nosey but you ok?*

*As I'll ever be… god we have a weird relationship. You doing ok with the nomad thing? I'm going to vote yes because its what Jax wants*

* What about what I want huh?*

"You are more than just a SAMCRO baby… you're an old lady which means you don't get a vote you listen and say nothing you know the drill Sis its unfair but it is what it is*

*Life fucking sucks.*

* I won't leave you Jen, I never leave you behind.*

* No that's Jax's job to run from life. Call me when the vote is in*

* Will do love you*

* Love you too dude we'll go bed shopping tomorrow*

Jenna really just wanted to mope but Lyla wasn't having it and she said as much as she currently beat on Jenna's door.

"Let me in I know you're in there woman I see your truck."

"I'm coming!" she rolled over yanking the door open. "Hi, I guess Opie really is afraid I'll have some kinda break down."

"Oh we know that's coming but no I'm just bored and I thought you might be lonely waiting for the vote?"

Jenna smiled. Lyla was sweet. "Come on in girly…where are the kids?"

"Playing in the yard they aren't allowed to leave the back gate."

Some how the two of them ended up taking a sexual purity quiz on Jenna's laptop which was currently balanced on Lyla's lap.

"Have you ever learned to tie a specific knot for sexual reasons?"

"Sailors knots… those come in handy." Lyla looked Shocked. Jenna just smirked giving a shrug.

"Do you ever have sex so rough that you employ the use of a safety word?"

"Apple."

"Jenna! You're…"

Jenna smiled. "Go on you can say it Lyla Disabled…and yes I happen to like it rough but Jax knows my limits so I never have to use it but he has a time or two."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes huh next question."

Lyla cackled laughing. "Are you or have you ever been a plushie?"

"What's that?"

"Someone who has sex with stuffed animals."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me…"

"No I'm not here read it." Lyla turned the screen and she read it laughing "No I am not nor have I ever been a plushie… fucking freaks."

"I see a lotta kinky shit in porn but never that." Jenna's phone rang.

"Hello…ok...yes…" she swallowed her tears or tried too. "No I'm really not…" Jenna was shocked when Lyla hugged her. "He's going…" she bravely sniffed back her tears.

Gemma called her next. "Listen I need you at my house in thirty minutes…I have something I need to tell you all…and you are basically my child anyway…but mostly he'll need you."

"Ok be right there Gem."

Jenna arrived first she came into see Gemma sitting at her piano playing.

"Gem?"

"Come here Baby play with me." Jenna transferred herself on to the bench.

When Jax arrived along with Clay and Tara they found them playing what could only be described as melancholy but still uplifting song. Clay went to stop them.

"No they are at peace let them finish." Tara said. "I forgot your Mom taught her to play." she finished.

"I didn't forget." Jax murmured watching as they play. Their hands moving in a perfect wordless dance moving under and over the other occasionally breathing perfectly in sync. He realized Jenna was playing with her eyes closed. As the last note died.

"Thanks Gem I don't play much anymore since it never sounds right since I can't use the peddles…"

"No problem it helped me. Jax knows this one he'll move the peddles for you… that was relaxing."

"He can play that?"

"I can Lane's Theme right Ma?"

"Yes, Hi baby all of you sit at the table. I have something I need to say."

Jax put Jenna back in her chair. "I coulda done it myself. I know you can take the help while I'm here to give it."

"Where you were even going to tell me bye?"

"Was on my way to do just that when Mama stopped me."

"Doesn't matter he's not going anywhere Jennasis." Gemma said.

Gemma took a deep breath and began her story….

"The night of Bobby's party I wasn't in an accident I was attacked… A woman flagged me down said her baby was choking… she was…convincing… it was a damn doll… She bashed me over the head with something…I came to a cuffed to a chain link fence." she looked at Clay. Jenna took Jax's hand. "They wore masks…"

"White ones?" Jenna asked. "Yes baby."

"They said if I didn't deliver a message to you quit selling guns to color that they would do it again. I recognized one's voice and tattoo's Zobelle's right hand.

"There where three of them they all raped me more than once." Jax slapped the table. Clay simply stared into space. Tara handed Jenna a Kleenex to wipe her tears. Jax let go of Jenna's hand standing fighting tears he crossed to Gemma taking her hands he kissed them. Turning he squeezed Clay's shoulders. Jenna knew nothing she could say or do would help. She hugged Tara.

"Thank you for taking care of her."

Jax Jenna and Tara turned to leave. "Jenna, I'll tell Hale you were only doing what we told you. He'll leave you alone." Clay said

"Thank you. Gemma…"

"I'm ok Baby…"

"Love you…"

"I know that darlin'" as they walked out Jax picked up his "V. President." patch from where Clay had tossed it in the change bowl by the door.

"I'll sew it back on." Jenna whispered.

Once they were all outside "What will you do?" Tara asked.

"Kill them all." Jax replied unlike Tara who flinched Jenna didn't bat an eyelash at his response.


	17. Good From Bad

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They got into the Jenna's truck. "Jax what about your bike baby?"

"I'll come back for it tomorrow." they drove to Jax's place in complete thoughtful silence. She put the car in park. "Jackson?"

"Jenna honey I don't wanna talk." she nodded. "Just promise me something then I'll shut up."

"Okay." he replied scrubbing a hand down his face.

"I know this vengeance will be bloody violent and severe. Just don't let it cause your death."

"I ain't going no where Jenna."

After Jenna laid Abel down she found Jax sewing on his patches.

"Said I'd do that babe." she murmured. He looked up from his stitching.

A slow almost sad smile graced his face. "Marry me?"

She took a deep breath. "There's no one I'd rather spend my life with." she rolled over leaning forward she kissed him. "I mean like right now Jenna. Unser is a J.P."

"You're scared." she replied.

"Not scared…just want everything I want done. To be done marrying you is on the list."

"And Abel needs a mother in case something goes wrong."

"You would be his mother either way Jenna but yes he needs someone safe they can't take him from you."

"Well let's do it. I just need to stop at Opie's first my dress is in Donna's closet."

"Wait you bought a wedding dress before you even got engaged."

"When you say it like that it makes me sound nutty."

There was a knock at the door. Jax pulled his gun and went to answer. Clay on the other side "I know it's late but can we talk?" Abel began crying. "I got him." Jax said walking back with Clay. Jenna picked up Jax's cut and finished the stitching.

A few minutes later they came back.

Clay stood behind Jenna. He squeezed her shoulders. Leaning down he kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry baby."

"My best friend's dead because you are a shitty leader. My safe place is ashes because you are rash and immature. You nearly drove away the love of my life because you can't accept being obsolete. You only in reality care about yourself. I loved you on some level. You're Uncle Clay and I sincerely wished I believed you were in fact sorry."

"Toughness is good Jenny you'll need It." he replied.

"I know tell Gem Jax and I are going to go wake up Unser to get married. You both are welcome to come."

Opie swung open the front door. "Jen it's fucking midnight!"

"I need to get my wedding dress out of Donna's closet."

"Wha- huh?" he looked at her like she was nuts.

"Jax and I are getting married. You and Lyla are going to be our witnesses Half sac's gonna watch the kids. Daddy's up at the cabin must be drunk off his ass he won't answer. So that means you're giving me away try and keep up.

"Move!" Lyla told him Dragging Jenna in following shortly behind her carrying his white shirt and black sports jacket in one arm and Abel in the other was Jax. "I'm not allowed to wear my cut." Jax pouted. Opie laughed. "We love her." Opie supplied.

"We do." Jax agreed.

With help from Lyla Jenna got into her pearly white strapless mini-length dress with a sweetheart neckline jeweled bodice and bubble hem. She looked young and hip. A princess with a dash of rock and roll. Her hair was tossed up messily with curls framing her face. Smoky eyes and nude lips along with silver flats. Finished off the look.

Opie stuck his head in. "Jax is ready… you look like a marshmallow." she shot him a dirty look. "You look like a princess." he amended.

"A marshmallow princess." she giggled smiling at him. "Only you Op."

"No, seriously you're breathtaking Jennasis."

"Thank you Harry."

"If you want I can blindfold Jax and make him ride bitch. So he won't see you before…" she cackled with laughter. "You get him to do that and I want pictures."

Lyla stole the bandana from Opie's pocket. "Hey Jax?" she strolled out.

"I need to blindfold you …"

"You need to do what?"

"Blindfold you so you don't see Jenny before your married you only have to ride behind Opie for like five minutes."

"Uh no."

"Let's face it y'all need all the luck you can get." she started toward him. He ran. She gave chase. "Baby this is kinda pointless the dress will be on my bedroom floor an hour from now." he shouted as he leapt over the couch. Porn girl was fast. Jenna Opie and Half sac where all in hysterical laughter.

"He's running FROM a porn star." Half sac cackled.

"And I ran … I ran so far away…" Jenna sang.

"I just ran…" Opie added as they both cracked up.

"Baby seriously the VP of the mother chapter cannot ride bitch while blindfolded on his best friend's bike." Jax pleaded.

"You don't have too…ready here I come." she rolled around the corner where she'd been hiding with Opie watching Jax run like mad around the living room. "Wow… I just I Wow." Jax babbled.

"I think that's Jax speak for you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Opie supplied. Jax nodded causing Jenna to giggle. "You clean up pretty good Jaxy." she grinned at him he wore a white shirt and jeans his black sport coat the SAMCRO blue bandana as his pocket square. Lyla made him pull part of his hair back so it was out of his face but it looked funny to Jenna. "Wait." she motioned for him to bend down when he did she pulled out the half ponytail finger combing into place. "There now you look more like you."

They arrived at the police station. Where Unser had said he'd meet them. Jax received a text from Gemma. *had to make a quick stop be there in ten love you*

"We're waiting on Mom and Clay and then…its game on…"

"No cold feet?" Lyla asked.

"Hell no!"

They all got unloaded and waited a bit. Then in pulled Gemma Clay and what appeared to be a semi sober Piney. Gemma got out of the car a bouquet of blue dahlias in one hand she pulled a mulish looking Piney by the arm with her other.

"Can't very well get married without your Daddy now can you baby? Something good needs to come from this day." Gemma smiled at them handing Jenna her bouquet. "Let's do it then." Jenna replied smiling.

Jennasis and Piney stood outside Unser's office for a moment simply for dramatic effect. "Dad you seem disgruntled everything ok?"

"You sure this is what you want? That he's the one you want for all time? Marrying into the crows nest isn't an easy life."

"I was born in the crow's nest and yes I'm positive this is what I want."

"In that case everything's fine."

Her walk down the aisle or across the room really was a short one. Piney gave her away. Now, they stood in front of Unser.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. Aren't you dating Hale?"

"It's complicated." Jenna replied.

"Ok then lets get started." Jax took that as his cue and knelt down in front of Jenna. "Figured this was one of those times you wished I was shorter." Jenna laughed.

"I don't get the joke." Opie said.

"Don't think you are supposed too." Gemma responded.

"Jax do you wish to commit to Jennasis today in front of God and these witnesses?"

"I do."

"Then repeat after me I, Jackson Teller take you Jennasis Indigo Winston to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward for better or worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish being faithful to only you. Until, death do us part."

"I, Jackson Teller take you Jennasis Indigo Winston to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward for better or worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish being faithful to only you. Until, death do us part."

"Jennasis do you wish to commit to Jax today in front of God and these witnesses?"

"I do."

"Then repeat after me I, Jennasis Indigo Winston take you Jackson Teller to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward for better or worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish being faithful to only you. Until, death do us part."

"I, Jennasis Indigo Winston take you Jackson Teller to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward for better or worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish being faithful to only you. Until, death do us part."

"The rings please." Jax turned to Opie getting the bridal set he'd bought four years earlier that had taken up residence in his sock drawer all this time.

"Wait Jax doesn't have a ring." Jenna said.

Without missing a beat Opie took off his ring. "Here borrow mine." he placed it in Jenna's hand. She looked ready to cry. "Don't do that. Don't cry." Opie commanded. "You know she's smiling down on us now. So just be happy."

"But Op-" Jax interjected.

"No, don't ok you'll make her worse and I want her to be happy right now. Not sad because she's not here so just borrow it and give it back in the morning."

"Ok once more repeat after me."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment to these vows."

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment to these vows." Jax slid her rings on.

"That's some rock." Lyla murmured. Gemma elbowed her.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my fidelity and commitment to these vows." Jenna repeated and did the same.

"By the power vested in me by the state of California it is my honor to pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride. Jax never was one to be chaste. Taking her face in his hands. He kissed her deeply slowly Jax smiled against her lips… "You don't kiss me like that!" Lyla pointed out to Opie.

"I don't kiss any body like that any more."

"Ok guys look this way real quick." Gemma snapped a picture with her cell phone.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think your favorite place to lay is on top of me." Jax's words were muffled into her hair.

"It is." she looked at her ring an Asher cut 1 and a half carat diamond set in white gold band with beget style diamonds going up both sides and a diamond encrusted wedding band. "Its so pretty." she giggled. "I love it."

"Good I'm glad you like it."

"I can't believe you held on to it this long." She felt him shrug. "It's like you say we're fated."

"Is it wrong we're happy when something so terrible happened to your Mom?"

"Life's full of extremes baby… and this…us it keeps me going so I think we're fine. I'm hungry."

"I'll make Frito chili pie the candy bar pie is still in the fridge right?"

"You are going to make Frito chili pie at three in the morning in the nude?"

"No I'm going to wear your shirt… makes me sad my dress came off so quick makes me very sad."

"The whole not in the nude thing makes me sad."

They sat on the couch thirty minutes later eating thier food and watching "The Wizard of Oz.

"I think this might be our reception." Jax pointed out. "Why are we watching this?" he added.

"Because I like it you're my scarecrow you know?"

Jax was offended. "He doesn't have a brain Jenna!"

"No but he has a really big heart and is always optimistic never loses hope thats you."

Jax got a text from Clay. *meeting tomorrow noon*

*K*

*What are you still doing up?*

*Eating Frito chili pie and watching the wizard of oz with my wife U?*

*Weird children whatever night* Jenna hugged Jax. "I'll miss you the most scarecrow." she kissed his cheek. "You have problems." "That's my favorite part!" Jax clicked his heels. "There's no place like my bed. There's no place like my bed. There's no place like my bed. It didn't work!

"Maybe you need the shoes?"

"Come on Dorothy lets go to bed."

She stood tossing her over his shoulder. I've been to Kansas it ain't that

great." she told him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna woke to find Jax gone. She got up and got herself dressed. She waited for Nina to come watch Abel. She kissed Abel and was out the door quickly.

Dave found Jenna sitting on the concrete steps of her church staring at the burned rubble.

"Thought I might find you here… heard you got married."

"News travels fast 'round here I forget…I'm sorry Dave I really am its just…" she made motions with her hands implying she didn't know what to say.

"You did what was asked of you I get it. I talked to Clay besides… I've always known I was no Jax Teller in your eyes."

"You're letting me off the hook."

"I am. You don't get married on the fly without good reason. You know about Gemma?"

"I do." Jenna nodded.

"This will be bad Dave. I won't ask you to protect them. Just protect Trey Paige and Abel…make sure I get them if…I don't want them in services." her phone rang.

"Hello…okay …Yeah be right there…." She hung up. "I gotta go Jax needs me."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna stopped to pick up Jax's ring then drove to her Dad's to pick up her guns. Jenna loaded her gun stock into her oversized bag. 2 9 mm. semi automatic hand guns a .38 revolver a snub nosed revolver a 45 and a desert eagle. She tossed the gun bag and the ammo in her passenger seat covering it with clothes. She looked up and there was the ATF Agent who had terrified Donna.

"Jennasis Winston-Teller?"

"Just Teller dropped the Winston. Stahl Right?"

"Yes, funny though you weren't on my radar till this morning. Do you often randomly marry childhood friends…?"

"What are you getting at Ms. Stahl?"

"Any reason you got married so suddenly?"

"We wanted to lets get one thing straight right now Agent I'm not Donna or Tara you can't scare me. You can threaten all you like, either way I'll know when you're blowin' smoke up my ass and callin' it sunshine. You have a nice day now. I have places I need to be."

Jenna pulled up to see Jax pulling Opie off a bleeding Tig. Opie sped off on his bike shortly after Jax followed.

"What the fuck did I miss?" Jenna asked transferring into her chair.

"Tig confessed to shooting Donna. Told him Stahl made him out to be rat so he's going to make her pay the piper" her father told her. Jenna sighed. "Well Shit! I thought Tig was the trigger man. Someone needs to clean him up. I can't stand the sight of him."

Jenna rolled into the office and began finishing the paper work Gemma had left over. Bobby strolled in. "I talked to Clay. You know I take it?" she nodded. She tapped the papers on the table creating a neat pile. Her ring caught the light bleeding through the open door.

"All of it." she replied.

"You ok?"

"Nope … this club it failed them both…"

"I hear congratulations are in order Mrs. Teller." she fought a smile. "Thank you." she said primly.

"Go on smile. It's ok." Bobby said hysterical laughter bubbled up out of her.

"You ok Baby?"

Still laughing. "Yeah it's just…" More laughter "Marrying into the Teller Morrow family should come with a warning. First day as a Teller is a doozy." more laughter that soon dissolved into tears, he ruffled her hair. "It'll get better. This is just a bad day Jen."

"I'm tough Bobby…I can handle a lot… this breaks Op I'll break."

"We won't let it."

"Come get me if he pops up."

"You bet."

About an hour later.

"He's in the apartment. Come with me?" Jax appeared in the door.

"Yeah…" Jax walked over grabbed the handle bars of her chair. "Hang on." he warned the took off like a shot through the door. Proceeded to take half the parking lot on two wheels. Jenna shrieked laughing. "Jackson!"

"I like this toy its fun!" Jax teased.

"I don't want to die please slow down." Jax leaned down kissing her cheek. "He'll make it babe we just gotta help him." she angled her head back to catch his eye. "And how do we help him?"

"Not really sure…yet…" he kissed her firmly on the mouth. "First day of married life's been interesting ain't it?"

"You could say that yeah…Oh that reminds me your wedding band is in my purse …he pulled it out of the bag hanging on the back of the chair. It was a platinum band made to look it had been well worn.

"I was gonna go with some black diamonds just to see how many of the guys would razz you but this was more practical and its already beat up so when you beat it up I won't know the difference… you don't have to wear it if you don't want…I just thought you should have one." he slid it on already having given Opie back his.

"Let's do this before I lose my nerve." Jax said staring at the apartment door.

The walked in to see Opie staring at himself in the bathroom mirror.

"I've been looking for you." Jax told him.

"I didn't kill her." Opie responded.

"She showed up talked to me before her little come to Jesus meeting I imagine she had with you." Jenna told them.

"And you're just telling me now!" Jax barked at her.

"It was all bullshit Jackson…nothing…"

"Don't yell at her I don't like it…" Opie said.

"Anyone care to tell me how I'm supposed to share a patch with them? Tig and Clay killed my wife…" he continued.

"I couldn't tell you I just couldn't…." Jax whispered.

"You told her."

"I think I might have been a test drive…" Jenna whispered. Jax nodded.

"This it lands at the clubs feet Op." Jax said. "Clay is Clay because we made him." he added.

"Then how do we unmake him?" Opie asked.

"I think that's the million dollar question Bub." Jenna answered.

"We can do it but I'm going to need you brother." they stood and hugged Jenna fought the urge to laugh. All that leather made their hugs extra loud. They turned to her with that look. They we're gonna get her. "Nuh uh I was over the Jenna Oreo thing at six…" she began to roll away.

"Wait baby," Jax said "I got something I want you two to read…" he handed Opie his father's manuscript. Jenna and Opie set on the bed. Jenna curled into Opie's side as he read aloud. Jax thought about Opie reading "The corduroy bear." to Jenna when she was younger. This book will be a little different he thought. Then they switched off and Jenna read it was interesting how their voices so different layered one over the other. Jax never heard the similarities in the way they spoke till just now, it was oddly comforting almost musical. He left them to the reading.

Opie had called a meeting and she wasn't privy so she sat down with her guitar and the double fudge brownie ice cream Jax had bought her. She played and ate between songs to amuse herself.

"Can I have a bite?" Jax asked before entering the meeting room. The spoon half way to her mouth she turned it and fed him. Opie got his own spoon dishing up a bite. "He's my husband I'm legally obligated to share… you not so much." Jenna smirked Jax leaned down and kissed her. "This will just take a few minutes then we can go." she nodded. She began to play. "The clock never stops and I hate this damn phone some days I wanna run from the place I call home I guess I'm just needing some danger and give me three days in bed with a stranger…"

"Come on man lets get this done… you could stand there and listen to her all day I know you…" Opie nudged Jax into moving. Half sac plopped down in front of Jenna and Gemma emerged from the back to listen.

"We drank all our wine on the Champs Elysees we got carried away on the banks of the Seine woke up on the old boulevard Saint Germaine its been three days in bed with a stranger. You take the hard stuff its menthols for me, I don't smoke but I do on occasions like these…" Chibs walked in and a look that Jenna didn't miss passed between him and Gemma he stopped and listened for a moment. "Now that I've got me a French man to please, I'll have one robertino and you can have me."

"Pretty song lass…" she nodded her thanks and continued. Next through the door came Piney. He wasn't wearing his cut which Jenna found odd but kept singing.

"I can't wait to go back there again with your body so warm and your face in my hands…" Piney leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Love you kid."

"Ditto…"

"You know how I love to meet all your demands give me three days in bed with a stranger…"

"Better not let Jax hear you say that." Piney said.

"Ha-ha Dad." and he went into the meeting room at the sound of gun shots she ducked. Three shots Jenna secretly hoped Daddy got the fucker. She heard lots of screaming and fighting then Opie demanding the room. Everyone but Opie and Piney poured out. Jenna put her guitar down carefully and then pulled her gun pointing it at the center of Clay's chest.

"Daddy missed I won't."

"Jenna honey put the gun down." Jax said firmly but calmly.

"Jax I need you to shut up baby…" Juice snickered. "What? Its just she was just so polite about telling him to shut up."

"I need to say my peace I deserve to say my peace and this is the only way he'll hear me. He has no idea what he took from us all out stupidity. I got married without my best friend…You took away my only true ally… you burned something I loved just to goad me because I told you what I thought…You think we're all fine with what you did? Well I'm not! The only thing keeping you alive right now is the fact that I love them…" She gestured to Gemma and Jax and then Piney and Opie standing in the meeting room door stock still. "More than I hate you! That and vengeance is mine sayeth the lord but even that won't help you for long...my patience will run out and you'll die. You won't know when you won't know how but I'm coming for you. If they don't make you pay I will either way you are a dead man." Tears filled her eyes; Gemma took the gun from her shaking hand.

"Shh, its ok baby its ok…" Gemma soothed rubbing the sobbing girl's back.

"No, it's not ok its not…Gem I can make some things this club does ok but not this."

"Jax take your wife home…" Opie said calmly. "And Clay don't take this club from my old man its all he's got…" "Touch her…" he nodded at Jenna. "And I cut your heart out." he kissed Jenna on the top of her head. "Go eat something better than Ice cream." he told her. Jax rolled her out the door wordlessly."


	18. Damage, We do it. We feel it we are it. Its destructive, mean bordering on evil…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You for reading please continue on to My Empire Of Dirt.  
> Please leave me comments telling me what you think!

Damage, We do it. We feel it we are it. Its destructive, mean bordering on evil…

Damage is what they will sow and reap. The residual effects will not be felt until after when she is cleaning up the blood guts and clubhouse dust.

Fear. Anger. Dread. Irritation. All of that is rolling round in Jenna's stomach as Jax says one word… "Lockdown."

"Jax please don't do this to me you know I hate lockdown and then people shadowing me everywhere.."

"Jenna this isn't up for discussion. You are going if Opie has to tackle you then I have to hog tie you and throw you on the back of my bike."

"I just want you to realize what you are forcing me into. You are locking…let me repeat that LOCKING me in a confined space with Tara and my mother… and Mama will be locked in the same space as Daddy. Oh and lets not forget Ma has no idea we got married nor has she met Opie's new porn star girlfriend. Just wanted to make sure you knew all the facts because you aren't really the type who just likes to be mean to me."

"You know the way we do things."

"Yes, believe me if anyone knows how things are done in SAMCRO its me. In case you have forgotten Father, Brother, Husband all members. I know the rules. I know how the game is played so fuck you! It doesn't mean I have to like it."

He turned from picking Abel up out his crib. He kissed her. "I get it baby I do your Mom, Piney, and Tara not your idea of fun I know but if it helps…" he gestured between he and Abel. "We love you."

"Helps only marginally…I have us all packed."

"There's my girl."

They walked into the packed club house. Jax took Abel from his carrier handing him to Jenna. His wedding band immediately catching Tara's eye.

Jax signaled to Clay that everyone was present then gestured to Tig to cut the music.

"Welcome to Club Reaper… be glad you made your reservations early as you can see we have a packed house." Clay said.

"No in all seriousness this club has some things it needs to deal with and it could put our members and the people associated with them in precarious and dangerous situations . We want to protect you all. We love you that's why you're here . Three people have been hurt on my watch it will not happen again the gates will remain locked until we deem it safe again. You must have a escort upon leaving the compound. If you have a safety concern see Piney." Piney held his shot gun to identify himself. "You have a comfort concern got to my queen or her second." Jenna held up her left hand to identify herself as Gemma's second. "I love you all and we'll do our best to make your time here as comfortable as possible. Now have a good time." Clay finished

Ann and Tara promptly rounded on Jax and Jenna.

" You got married without telling me!" They screeched in unison.

"Tara you're not my girlfriend anymore I don't have to clear anything with you." Jax said calmly turning his attention to Ann to help Jenna. "Mama I didn't mean to leave you out it was really spur of the moment."

"But why?"

"Because I pushed it." Jax replied. "It's just with everything going it was better to do it now and not wait."

" I told you little girl not to tie yourself to him… he'll break your heart…loving a crow means pain Jennasis it means being second always to the club."

"And yet you're here Mama. You still love Daddy no matter how much you deny it Opie and I aren't stupid."

"I see no need to talk about that."

"Well no of course not." Jenna smirked. "I've loved Jax since I was twelve Mom what do you really expect."

Ann directed her next statement at Jax. "You run again I hunt you down and kill you we clear?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Once Tara and Ann had walked away. "That was way to easy…" Jenna said.

"Yep entirely to easy they will make us pay in sneaky little ways for decades." Jax agreed. "Oh well…lets go hang for a bit." he added.

"Nuh uh…two fingered Chuckie is over there and he creeps me the fuck out."

"I'll protect you.."

"Kick him if he pictures me naked?"

"Totally…" Jax smirked.

"Sides its not really his fault the Chinese found his masturbation annoying…"

"Least they left him his index fingers."

"You must a really pissed someone off…" Tara said while doctoring his burns.

"Not everyone finds my personality charming." Jax laughed.

"I know who burned CaraCara." Chuckie said. Gemma read Clay's signal.

"Come on girls lets to run those errands…"

"I don't get why I have to leave its not like I won't be told later. If Jax doesn't tell me something Opie will and if not Opie then Dad." Jenna griped.

"You kinda have a point but please…" Jax replied "Okay fine." he leaned forward kissing her then he kissed the back of her hand he was still holding.

"Put someone on them." he added as the three women walked away.

"Crap I don't have my truck." Jenna said.

"You're chair will fit in my trunk." Tara added.

Once inside the car. Gemma picked up the saint statue on Tara's dash.

"Religious?"

"Superstitious."

"You believe in God?"

"I believe in something… something bigger…out there."

"Just because you don't give him a name doesn't mean he's not God." Jenna couldn't help but adding.

"My girl always a believer…" Gemma smirked.

"One thing Mama gave me that stuck."

"You believe in God Gemma?" Tara asked.

"I believe we all got a job to do a path we're given I think mine's to be a fierce mother… you you're a healer Tara don't let anyone take it from you."

"And my path?" Jenna asked.

"Has always led straight to my son…" Gemma said. "You'll fix more than just him… you will help him make the club into what he wants…"

" And I couldn't of?"

"This is her life Tara she won't be shocked or even angry if Jax ends up in jail…all of the things that are deal breakers for you… She just deals with so no honey you couldn't of."

"I need to stop at the drug store." Jenna said.

"What for?" Tara asked.

"A pregnancy test." And then there was silence Gemma turned slowly to face Jennasis "You're sure…"

"I'm never late you know that."

"How late we talking?" Tara asked. The doctor in her was always curious and ready to help.

"Bout three weeks."

"Morning sickness?"

"Took everything I had not to use my purse as a barf bag this morning Jax God love him drives like shit." Gemma laughed. "He's a Teller baby they are always better on two wheels rather than four."

She sat in the club bathroom waiting the five minutes for the test to come out. Opie tapped on the door. "You ok in there Jen?" she got herself back into her clothes and resituated in her chair. "Yep." she opened the door. He looked over her shoulder and saw the test balanced on the sink.

"Holy Tacos Batman… are you?" the egg timer dinged. "Well lets see…" she rolled back and looked at the test. "Yes, I am… don't say anything to Jax."

"But-"

"I'm going to tell him Op just not now… he needs his head clear."

She went and set by the bar. "Want a beer baby?" Piney asked.

She smiled at him "Do I want one yes. Can I have one no."

"Why?" and then it clicked he smiled. She pressed her index finger to her lips in the universal signal for silence.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They all stood outside the club in the parking lots.

"What are you all doing Jax?"

"Its better for your sake if I don't tell you." He kissed Abel's cheek then handed him Ann.

"Fine. I don't want to fight with you." she blinked back tears. He squatted down in front of her. "I'm not scared." She said bravely. "Just come home ok?"

He held her face in his hands and kissed her soft slow and deep. "If you wanted me to think you were doin something safe you shouldn't have kissed me like that."

"I love you Jenna."

"I love you too. Be safe." he let her go and hugged his mother kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey asshole tear yourself away from Lyla long enough to hug me." Jenna called to Opie he walked over bent down and hugged her tightly. "Be safe Bubba. I love you."

"I will kid. Love ya too and I'll even make sure Jax gets home so you can give him the good news." he whispered into her hair.

"Thank you."

They watched as they all got on their bikes riding out. Gemma kissed Lyla and Tara's cheeks. "It'll be okay girls." she bent down wrapping her arms around Jenna's shoulders. "They will be fine Darlin' they know what they are doing."

"I lied to him Gem. I'm scared."

"I know you did Honey…So you tell him you're pregnant?"

"No, did I do the wrong thing not telling him."

"He'll be there later tell him then." She rolled inside following Gemma's command she really really wanted to puke. Instead she grabbed a coke, transferred onto the couch and started reading her book. "She's come undone. By Wally Lamb."

"That's a great book." Tara said. "Can I sit?" she asked.

"Sure." Jenna replied arching her brow prettily.

"How did you guys…" Tara gestured wildly with her hands. "Become you guys?"

"Wait let me make sure I have this right you want to hear mine and Jax's love story?"

"All he'll say is you fixed him."

"Ah, so he admits it." Jenna smirked.

"You left and he was… broken… God did I hate you for it. This guy who was unstoppable, smart, tough he just stopped functioning stopped having anything to do with anything he holed up in that fucking cabin they are all fond of and just gave up. Didn't listen to anyone…" she took a sip of her coke and continued. "He told Gemma to fuck off and it pissed me off so Donna drove up to the cabin with me I was fourteen almost fifteen didn't have my license yet… I unlocked the cabin. Which smelled like feet and stale pussy by the way. Woke him up stood there and listened to him talk about you while he showered…" he got out wrapped the towel around his waist. Kissed me and said thank you…I said for what? He said being here. I cleaned the house fed him. Told him I would always be there if he needed me but he had to stop wallowing first, that if he loved you as much as he said he did he'd be happy for your success and quit feeling sorry for himself he did. We became friends and when my boyfriend dumped me before prom Jax took me and it changed from that night on we were an us. It just happened no labels or anything but we knew what this was or could be. The I love yous and the old lady ink came later but we spent six years together before the accident. That night I'm pretty sure he was going to propose but he forgot the ring at least I think he did...he was really nervous that night… and our church at night freaked me out so I rode back with him. Front end locked up I got pitched over the front Jax was flung to the side…by all accounts including Jax's I should be dead. He felt so guilty it was like watching you rip him apart all over again but this time it was me. So I left if Donna hadn't of died I'd still be gone…"

"So that's why you hate me I broke him."

"No, Tara I never hated you…but you aren't made for this." she gestured to their surroundings. "World…and him trying to be the all American guy with one foot in the club and one foot in the real world… that was going to get him killed…you were dangerous… but I never hated you…do you realize based on whatever it is they are doing now I could be going and Iding his body in a few hours…Opie's too. Could you do that?"

"No."

"I'm made for him your not. Its nothing personal Tara just reality."

"Can I ask you something?"

"We've had a fairly serene conversation so far go ahead." Jenna smiled.

"Why's your old lady tatt different from all the rest…"

"Simple I wanted to be different…and I'm the SAMCRO Princess so I can."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Baby?" Piney walked over.

"Yeah Dad…"

"Your Mama's getting antsy can you sing something distract her?"

"Sure…"

"Any requests?"

"How bout a hymn…" her dad asked.

"Ok…"

She sang in perfect pitch acappella "Just a closer walk with thee grant it Jesus is my plea daily walking close to the thee…""They are back…" Gemma interrupted. She had been watch the security feed from the bar.

Piney helped Jenna back into her chair and she was second out the door right behind Gemma. She rolled out to Jax's bike just as he was shutting off.

She reached up hugging him tight. "I'm fine." he bit out.

"Hush! Don't be like that… get inside so I can look you over."

"You too Opie!" she called out.

"Yes ma'am." He knew better than to fuck with Jenna when she got like that. She went and sat him down then shined the nearest lamplight into his face.\

"Damn it Jenna I'm fine…" he complained. "I hate when you do this…its just a little red…"

"And swollen…" Jenna added someone had popped but good on the left check bone. "Does it hurt when I poke it…"she prodded gently. "Yes, so please stop."

"Its fine Jen he'd be screaming when you touched him if it was broken…" Tara said.

"Your knuckles are shredded…" Tara tossed Jenna peroxide and Neosporin.

"Op?" Jenna called out.

"Just a shiner and some nasty knuckles…Ow fuck! And nurse Ratchet oops I mean Lyla has me under control."

"Only Clay and Tig need stitches not bad." Tara said.

"You got the others Jen?"

"What happened between you two?" Jax asked. A breath hissed through his teeth as Jenna put a peroxide covered q-tip to one of his cuts. "Sorry Baby…and that's none of your business…What crawled up your butt? You are usually happy when a beef is settled."

"Didn't get settled… Weston went down for the Caracara arson and Zobelle turned himself in on heroin possession to keep us from shooting him."

"Oh…well some day somehow you'll get em' baby I know you…." she kissed him. "I like this par of getting in fights…" he murmured kissing her back. "Makes you all lovey dovey…" he finished taking the kiss deeper. Once the kiss was broken.

"Well since they are locked up for now we can stand down for tonight at least?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, lets go home…I'll grab the kid."

"Okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna woke up alone and was scared until she saw a letter sitting on her night stand. Picking it up gingerly. She read "Jenna" written on the front of the envelope in Jax's boxy cramped handwriting. Flipping it over she opened it she took a deep breath before taking out the single folded page and unfolding it and reading.

My Jenna,

You sleep as I write this. Your calm gentle breathing soothes me. I'm not scared of what may happen to me should my actions come back to bite me. They will not get away with what they did to you and Ma not as long as there is breath in me.

This letter isn't about that though it's the about the things I want you to know just in case we don't grow old together and I am unable to tire you with how often I tell you I love you.

I love you always have in one way or another. That gangly little girl who followed me around like a shadow to the woman you are today I have always loved you. I'm only sorry I wasted what time we could have had together in guilt and loneliness .

I just want to say thank you for loving me as you do. Without question and unconditionally.

You and my mother are the only homes I've ever had beyond the club and the brotherhood nothing is more important to me than you Ma and Abel I'm trying to protect you all. If I can't be here to raise Abel please tell him he gave me purpose, hope, and joy. I know he will be a better man than I am. That is my hope. He's my reason make sure he knows.

You are my home. I find solace in your eyes. You have made my life.

I love you…

Forever fated to be yours,

Jax

P.S. Stay with Ma. Halfsac will be waiting outside to stay with you Ma and Tara. Be careful be smart. Love you…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna hurriedly got dressed. Once they got home the night before Jax had quickly eaten and fallen asleep. So she didn't get to tell him about the baby. She was excited about it she quickly texted Jax. *Where are you? We need to talk. Can I take my truck? Do I need to wait for escort?*

*Waiting for word on Zobelle and Weston CPD. Go ahead and take you're truck. Piney took care of your escort.*

*Ok then, Let me get Abel and I'm on my way love you.*

*love you too*

Luckily for Jenna Nina had already dressed and fed Abel. Jenna picked up a banana for breakfast then set Abel in her lap rolling out the door.

"Crap the Car Seat!" Jenna said to herself.

"Piney put it back in your truck for you." She knew that voice.

She looked up and there stood a younger version of Jax Teller. "Holy Shit! Sunshine!"

The young man leaned on his bike. "Hey songbird." he sauntered forward hugging her.

"What are you doin' here?"

"Clay called on the Texas charter…so here I am…"

"I've missed you how are Callie and Domino?"

"Good good Callie stayed back but Dom and Track and all the other boys are here. The old ladies stay behind. Imagine my surprise when I get here and find out you married the VP of the mother chapter and got a kid to boot."

"Yeah Well Sunshine my life found me again is all…" she wheeled to her truck. Sunshine strapped Abel in.

"Cute Kid… "

"Thanks…. Follow me out to CPD?" she transferred into her truck and pushed the button for the lift to swing her chair into the back.

"Sure thing Honey." Sunshine kissed her cheek then got on his bike.

She rolled her eyes. Leave to her Daddy to tease poor Sunshine and surely torture Jax. Jenna never was very good at hiding when she'd had a past with someone.

Jenna pulled up and when the rider stopped behind her pulling off his helmet Opie laughed.

"Who in the hell is that?" Jax asked as some guy handed Jenna Abel.

"He's like your clone a sexy clone…" Tara said. From her spot next to Gemma.

"That is Sunshine…former lover to Jenna Teller and Sons of Anarchy Texas charters sergeant at arms." Opie said getting a kick out of the look on Jax's face. Sunshine kissed Jenna cheek. "He totally just hit on her in front of me.."

"Dude I'm thinking he's tapped that before…kiss on the cheek is the least of your worries." Juice teased Jax's jaw clenched.

"It was nice seeing you Sunshine…don't get into to much trouble."

"Never Darlin' and it was good seeing you too my little songbird."

"Songbird What the fuck he has nicknames for her." Jax muttered to Opie.

"She spent a year in Texas they got close." He whispered back as Jenna rolled over.

"Hi, baby any news?"

"Who was that?" he bit out.

"An old friend Jax."

"How friendly?"

"You know what I'll be honest I wasn't a fucking nun in the time we were apart…I did nothing wrong Jax and I refuse to be repentant for fucking someone else when she's not even ten fucking feet from you Jackson. I came here to tell you something important not bicker with you about my past. It can wait." she turned to go back to her truck.

"Wait!" she kept rolling. "Damn it Jenna I said wait." he stood in front of her determined not to move until she talked.

"I'm sorry I overreacted…now what did you need to tell me."

"I was all excited to tell you and you just killed the excitement never mind I'll tell you later."

"No… tell me now please."

"Fine I'm pregnant…"

He laughed. "Run that by me one more time."

"I said I'm a pregnant did you hit your head last night or something?"

He crouched down hugging her. "You're sure…" he whispered into her neck.

"I need the blood test but yeah I'm sure." he kissed her on the lips and Abel fussed at him for being squished.

"Sorry lil Man."

He looked up and everyone including Tara was smiling at him. "We'll have a new addition to the Sons family in…wait how far along are you?"

"No more than a month."

"In eight months Abel's gonna be a big brother!" he picked up Abel

"What you think about that?" in response Abel pulled on Jax's beard.

"Ouch!" Jax played along and Abel giggled it was a game they played.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later…

"Kiss your man bye and lets go drop our cars off at the club we'll take our truck to do our stuff…" Gemma told her as Abel reached for Gemma she took him. "Ok."

Taking her face in hands he kissed her. Soft slow and thoroughly as though he thought this might be the last time he'd do so. It made her want to cry. She kissed him back her fingertips tracing his jaw line and chin. Once they broke apart. "Just come out of it alive." she whispered

"I will." she kissed him again quickly fighting off tears. She backed off a little.

"You know I still like the facial hair." she Joked.

"You're an odd duck Jenna and I love you for it."

"I love you too always…" he stood up and took Abel from Gemma. He kissed Abel's cheek holding him tight. Removing his hat he kissed the top of his head inhaling the lavender baby shampoo they used on him.

"I know… we didn't do our morning routine but you were sleepin' like a rock lil man…so I left you…"

"There's always tomorrow." Jenna said with a bright smile.

"I love you son…" he kissed him once more put his hat back on handed him to Gemma stopping to kiss her cheek. "Love you Ma."

"Love you baby."

He turned and walked away not looking back. Jenna looked helplessly after him.

"He'll be alright sweet heart."

"Alright if we're going lets go. Tara!" Jenna called.

"Wait!" Opie called out. He jumped over the railing of alcove he was standing in landed perfectly on his feet. Strode over to Jenna wordlessly and hugged her tight . They didn't need to say I love you and be safe, sometimes they didn't need words.

"You are all those kids have Harry." his name came out on a choked little sob.

"I know."

"Stick to Jax like glue?"

"You got it. Halfsac is tailing you all you lose him you call me."

"Okay. See you later."

"See ya Sis." they both walked off in different directions.

She rolled over to her truck where Gemma and Tara waited.

"I'm outta practice Gem. That was really hard."

"It'll get better."

"What do you mean out of practice you've prepared for war before?" Tara asked. "Turf wars with the Mayans went down for nearly my whole life. We are always fightin' somebody it never stops." Jenna said getting into her truck.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna waited in the truck with Abel while Gemma and Tara loaded up the groceries. She watched as Gemma closely watched a blond girl. When the girl got in her ritzy car Gemma got in the truck. Once Tara was safely in the truck.

"Jennasis I need you to follow that car."

"Is that who I think it is?"

"Yeah Zobelle's daughter…set me up said her baby was choking." Jenna wordlessly put the car in drive.

A few minutes later…

"Gemma why are we here you've healed you don't need this." Tara said.

Jenna stared ahead silently no matter how healed Gemma was Jenna knew she wanted to exact this justice herself.

"God put her in path…my husband….my son…the brothers are all out there putting their lives on the line for me…going to war…this is my part to do." she loaded the gun setting it in her lap.

"You don't have to do this Gemma." Tara pleaded a last time.

"Yes, Yes I do." she leaned into the backseat to hug her and kiss Tara's cheek. "Thank you for being there." Tara just nodded.

"And you my love, I'm glad you came home….glad you and Jackson finally figured it out. You take care of everyone you hear me?"

"I can't…I'm not you…I'm not ready …"

"Honey, you struck out all alone for three years… you handle things that break most people you can do anything…I love you." Gemma kissed her cheek. "Get my grandson home safe." and she was out of the truck. Jenna put the car in drive. Silent tears streaming down her face. She did a u turn and met Halfsac on the way out. She rolled down the window.

"Go 'round back of that house and wait for Gemma she'll need a quick out."

"But Jen I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"I'll be fine I'll handle the heat from Jax."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Thank you sac."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The girls went back to the house to gather some of their things. Jenna was switching laundry around when Tara called out for Jax. Jenna came out of laundry room when moments later she heard a scream. She rolled as fast as she could into the kitchen to see Halfsac laying in a bloody pool Tara speechlessly huddled next to him and Cameron picking up Abel. Jenna silently pulled her gun.

"You're going to want to put down my child Cameron….If you remember I'm a fucking great shot."

"You're baby? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What you mean you didn't get a wedding invitation? Now put my baby down."

"Gemma fucking Teller killed me boy a son for a son is only fair." Jenna had a clean shot. She wouldn't hit Abel. She prayed she wouldn't hit Abel. She took the shot. Her hands shaking she missed Cameron's head by a mere two inches. Abel was screaming but unharmed. As she took her next breath. Cameron fired and hit her in the shoulder.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As she came to she sat in her chair tipped backward it laid parallel to the floor. He made it so she would eventually drown in her own blood Tara tied up next to her in the rocker. She didn't have the energy too scream and Tara didn't have the ability. As Cameron left with Abel.

She wasn't sure how much later it was when she heard Jax screaming their names he quickly found them. Tara came into his view first then Jenna. Chilbs and Sunshine began untying Tara.

Jax knelt next to Jenna. "Jenna baby no." she struggled to open her eyes. "He took Abel …" the girls said at once.

"What? Who?"

"Cameron." Jenna whispered. Opie began putting pressure on her wound she grunted in pain Tara rushed over to help. "Go get our boy I'll be here later I promise." Jax kissed her as he got up he realized he was covered in her blood. "No, Jen I need you to stay awake. Talk to Opie. Someone call 911..." Tara screamed Jax ran for his bike. Asshole had his kid and he couldn't just sit and watch his wife die.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mister Winston we have to put your daughter under to repair the gun shot wound it could mean losing the baby…."

"Do whatever you can to save her."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna awoke and the person she least expected was at her bedside.

"Here to finish the job." she asked Clay.

"No, I'm here to protect what is left of my family Gemma's on the run with Unser…Cameron got away with Abel…." Clay had expected the soul ripping sobs but it killed him to hear them. He brushed his hand down her cheek. "Shhh. Shhhh. Shhhh." Piney came in from getting coffee.

"I tried to stop him I was scared and nervous I didn't want to accidentally hit Abel."

"No one blames you or Tara." Clay said firmly. "This isn't yours to carry Jenny."

"Why aren't you all out looking for him?"

"You've been out three days darlin' we've run outta leads. Hale is helping but-"

"Where's Jax?" Jenna cut Piney off.

"Won't come out of the boys room." Clay said.

"Take me to him. With Gemma gone I'm kinda taking her spot right?"

"Why you ask Hon?" Clay wondered aloud.

"Get me Fiona Telford on the phone. Gemma might be scared of her I'm to pissed to be scared its time for a woman to woman talk. Now seriously take me home."

"Wait the baby?"

"Is fine that one's hanging on for dear life." Piney smirked

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna was a little high on pain meds and her right arm in a sling but she was home. She'd signed out AMA but Tara had said she'd watch over her so Piney let Jenna have her way. Nothing was going to stop her from getting to Jax not even bullet wounds. Piney knew that.

Lyla opened the door the moment they pulled up. When they got to the door Lyla hugged her tightly.

"Lyla honey…try not to squeeze so tight but I missed you too."

"Right bullet holes… sorry."

"Its ok…" she rolled through the door. Hale with his pen and pad and her Mother with a plate of food advanced on her.

I'll deal with you two in a minute." Opie appeared to help roll her through the throngs of bikers and cops.

Opie rolled her into the nursery. Someone had gotten her blood out of the carpet probably her Mother. Jax sat in the rocker staring blankly out the window. She nodded for Opie to leave. The door shut quietly behind him seconds later.

"Honey…" he looked over the moment he realized she was in fact real and not a figment of his imagination he crumpled from the inside out. He got up out of the chair walked over tears brimming in his eyes he knelt down. Laid his head in her lap and cried. Soul wrenching sobs. That broke her heart. His tears soaking through the material of her sweat pants. She ran the fingers of her free hand through his hair in a attempt to soothe. Silent tears dripping down her face. "We'll find him baby …we will." she prayed she hadn't lied to him.

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	19. Damage, We do it. We feel it we are it. Its destructive, mean bordering on evil…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You for reading please continue on to My Empire Of Dirt.  
> Please leave me comments telling me what you think!

Damage, We do it. We feel it we are it. Its destructive, mean bordering on evil…

Damage is what they will sow and reap. The residual effects will not be felt until after when she is cleaning up the blood guts and clubhouse dust.

Fear. Anger. Dread. Irritation. All of that is rolling round in Jenna's stomach as Jax says one word… "Lockdown."

"Jax please don't do this to me you know I hate lockdown and then people shadowing me everywhere.."

"Jenna this isn't up for discussion. You are going if Opie has to tackle you then I have to hog tie you and throw you on the back of my bike."

"I just want you to realize what you are forcing me into. You are locking…let me repeat that LOCKING me in a confined space with Tara and my mother… and Mama will be locked in the same space as Daddy. Oh and lets not forget Ma has no idea we got married nor has she met Opie's new porn star girlfriend. Just wanted to make sure you knew all the facts because you aren't really the type who just likes to be mean to me."

"You know the way we do things."

"Yes, believe me if anyone knows how things are done in SAMCRO its me. In case you have forgotten Father, Brother, Husband all members. I know the rules. I know how the game is played so fuck you! It doesn't mean I have to like it."

He turned from picking Abel up out his crib. He kissed her. "I get it baby I do your Mom, Piney, and Tara not your idea of fun I know but if it helps…" he gestured between he and Abel. "We love you."

"Helps only marginally…I have us all packed."

"There's my girl."

They walked into the packed club house. Jax took Abel from his carrier handing him to Jenna. His wedding band immediately catching Tara's eye.

Jax signaled to Clay that everyone was present then gestured to Tig to cut the music.

"Welcome to Club Reaper… be glad you made your reservations early as you can see we have a packed house." Clay said.

"No in all seriousness this club has some things it needs to deal with and it could put our members and the people associated with them in precarious and dangerous situations . We want to protect you all. We love you that's why you're here . Three people have been hurt on my watch it will not happen again the gates will remain locked until we deem it safe again. You must have a escort upon leaving the compound. If you have a safety concern see Piney." Piney held his shot gun to identify himself. "You have a comfort concern got to my queen or her second." Jenna held up her left hand to identify herself as Gemma's second. "I love you all and we'll do our best to make your time here as comfortable as possible. Now have a good time." Clay finished

Ann and Tara promptly rounded on Jax and Jenna.

" You got married without telling me!" They screeched in unison.

"Tara you're not my girlfriend anymore I don't have to clear anything with you." Jax said calmly turning his attention to Ann to help Jenna. "Mama I didn't mean to leave you out it was really spur of the moment."

"But why?"

"Because I pushed it." Jax replied. "It's just with everything going it was better to do it now and not wait."

" I told you little girl not to tie yourself to him… he'll break your heart…loving a crow means pain Jennasis it means being second always to the club."

"And yet you're here Mama. You still love Daddy no matter how much you deny it Opie and I aren't stupid."

"I see no need to talk about that."

"Well no of course not." Jenna smirked. "I've loved Jax since I was twelve Mom what do you really expect."

Ann directed her next statement at Jax. "You run again I hunt you down and kill you we clear?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Once Tara and Ann had walked away. "That was way to easy…" Jenna said.

"Yep entirely to easy they will make us pay in sneaky little ways for decades." Jax agreed. "Oh well…lets go hang for a bit." he added.

"Nuh uh…two fingered Chuckie is over there and he creeps me the fuck out."

"I'll protect you.."

"Kick him if he pictures me naked?"

"Totally…" Jax smirked.

"Sides its not really his fault the Chinese found his masturbation annoying…"

"Least they left him his index fingers."

"You must a really pissed someone off…" Tara said while doctoring his burns.

"Not everyone finds my personality charming." Jax laughed.

"I know who burned CaraCara." Chuckie said. Gemma read Clay's signal.

"Come on girls lets to run those errands…"

"I don't get why I have to leave its not like I won't be told later. If Jax doesn't tell me something Opie will and if not Opie then Dad." Jenna griped.

"You kinda have a point but please…" Jax replied "Okay fine." he leaned forward kissing her then he kissed the back of her hand he was still holding.

"Put someone on them." he added as the three women walked away.

"Crap I don't have my truck." Jenna said.

"You're chair will fit in my trunk." Tara added.

Once inside the car. Gemma picked up the saint statue on Tara's dash.

"Religious?"

"Superstitious."

"You believe in God?"

"I believe in something… something bigger…out there."

"Just because you don't give him a name doesn't mean he's not God." Jenna couldn't help but adding.

"My girl always a believer…" Gemma smirked.

"One thing Mama gave me that stuck."

"You believe in God Gemma?" Tara asked.

"I believe we all got a job to do a path we're given I think mine's to be a fierce mother… you you're a healer Tara don't let anyone take it from you."

"And my path?" Jenna asked.

"Has always led straight to my son…" Gemma said. "You'll fix more than just him… you will help him make the club into what he wants…"

" And I couldn't of?"

"This is her life Tara she won't be shocked or even angry if Jax ends up in jail…all of the things that are deal breakers for you… She just deals with so no honey you couldn't of."

"I need to stop at the drug store." Jenna said.

"What for?" Tara asked.

"A pregnancy test." And then there was silence Gemma turned slowly to face Jennasis "You're sure…"

"I'm never late you know that."

"How late we talking?" Tara asked. The doctor in her was always curious and ready to help.

"Bout three weeks."

"Morning sickness?"

"Took everything I had not to use my purse as a barf bag this morning Jax God love him drives like shit." Gemma laughed. "He's a Teller baby they are always better on two wheels rather than four."

She sat in the club bathroom waiting the five minutes for the test to come out. Opie tapped on the door. "You ok in there Jen?" she got herself back into her clothes and resituated in her chair. "Yep." she opened the door. He looked over her shoulder and saw the test balanced on the sink.

"Holy Tacos Batman… are you?" the egg timer dinged. "Well lets see…" she rolled back and looked at the test. "Yes, I am… don't say anything to Jax."

"But-"

"I'm going to tell him Op just not now… he needs his head clear."

She went and set by the bar. "Want a beer baby?" Piney asked.

She smiled at him "Do I want one yes. Can I have one no."

"Why?" and then it clicked he smiled. She pressed her index finger to her lips in the universal signal for silence.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They all stood outside the club in the parking lots.

"What are you all doing Jax?"

"Its better for your sake if I don't tell you." He kissed Abel's cheek then handed him Ann.

"Fine. I don't want to fight with you." she blinked back tears. He squatted down in front of her. "I'm not scared." She said bravely. "Just come home ok?"

He held her face in his hands and kissed her soft slow and deep. "If you wanted me to think you were doin something safe you shouldn't have kissed me like that."

"I love you Jenna."

"I love you too. Be safe." he let her go and hugged his mother kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey asshole tear yourself away from Lyla long enough to hug me." Jenna called to Opie he walked over bent down and hugged her tightly. "Be safe Bubba. I love you."

"I will kid. Love ya too and I'll even make sure Jax gets home so you can give him the good news." he whispered into her hair.

"Thank you."

They watched as they all got on their bikes riding out. Gemma kissed Lyla and Tara's cheeks. "It'll be okay girls." she bent down wrapping her arms around Jenna's shoulders. "They will be fine Darlin' they know what they are doing."

"I lied to him Gem. I'm scared."

"I know you did Honey…So you tell him you're pregnant?"

"No, did I do the wrong thing not telling him."

"He'll be there later tell him then." She rolled inside following Gemma's command she really really wanted to puke. Instead she grabbed a coke, transferred onto the couch and started reading her book. "She's come undone. By Wally Lamb."

"That's a great book." Tara said. "Can I sit?" she asked.

"Sure." Jenna replied arching her brow prettily.

"How did you guys…" Tara gestured wildly with her hands. "Become you guys?"

"Wait let me make sure I have this right you want to hear mine and Jax's love story?"

"All he'll say is you fixed him."

"Ah, so he admits it." Jenna smirked.

"You left and he was… broken… God did I hate you for it. This guy who was unstoppable, smart, tough he just stopped functioning stopped having anything to do with anything he holed up in that fucking cabin they are all fond of and just gave up. Didn't listen to anyone…" she took a sip of her coke and continued. "He told Gemma to fuck off and it pissed me off so Donna drove up to the cabin with me I was fourteen almost fifteen didn't have my license yet… I unlocked the cabin. Which smelled like feet and stale pussy by the way. Woke him up stood there and listened to him talk about you while he showered…" he got out wrapped the towel around his waist. Kissed me and said thank you…I said for what? He said being here. I cleaned the house fed him. Told him I would always be there if he needed me but he had to stop wallowing first, that if he loved you as much as he said he did he'd be happy for your success and quit feeling sorry for himself he did. We became friends and when my boyfriend dumped me before prom Jax took me and it changed from that night on we were an us. It just happened no labels or anything but we knew what this was or could be. The I love yous and the old lady ink came later but we spent six years together before the accident. That night I'm pretty sure he was going to propose but he forgot the ring at least I think he did...he was really nervous that night… and our church at night freaked me out so I rode back with him. Front end locked up I got pitched over the front Jax was flung to the side…by all accounts including Jax's I should be dead. He felt so guilty it was like watching you rip him apart all over again but this time it was me. So I left if Donna hadn't of died I'd still be gone…"

"So that's why you hate me I broke him."

"No, Tara I never hated you…but you aren't made for this." she gestured to their surroundings. "World…and him trying to be the all American guy with one foot in the club and one foot in the real world… that was going to get him killed…you were dangerous… but I never hated you…do you realize based on whatever it is they are doing now I could be going and Iding his body in a few hours…Opie's too. Could you do that?"

"No."

"I'm made for him your not. Its nothing personal Tara just reality."

"Can I ask you something?"

"We've had a fairly serene conversation so far go ahead." Jenna smiled.

"Why's your old lady tatt different from all the rest…"

"Simple I wanted to be different…and I'm the SAMCRO Princess so I can."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Baby?" Piney walked over.

"Yeah Dad…"

"Your Mama's getting antsy can you sing something distract her?"

"Sure…"

"Any requests?"

"How bout a hymn…" her dad asked.

"Ok…"

She sang in perfect pitch acappella "Just a closer walk with thee grant it Jesus is my plea daily walking close to the thee…""They are back…" Gemma interrupted. She had been watch the security feed from the bar.

Piney helped Jenna back into her chair and she was second out the door right behind Gemma. She rolled out to Jax's bike just as he was shutting off.

She reached up hugging him tight. "I'm fine." he bit out.

"Hush! Don't be like that… get inside so I can look you over."

"You too Opie!" she called out.

"Yes ma'am." He knew better than to fuck with Jenna when she got like that. She went and sat him down then shined the nearest lamplight into his face.\

"Damn it Jenna I'm fine…" he complained. "I hate when you do this…its just a little red…"

"And swollen…" Jenna added someone had popped but good on the left check bone. "Does it hurt when I poke it…"she prodded gently. "Yes, so please stop."

"Its fine Jen he'd be screaming when you touched him if it was broken…" Tara said.

"Your knuckles are shredded…" Tara tossed Jenna peroxide and Neosporin.

"Op?" Jenna called out.

"Just a shiner and some nasty knuckles…Ow fuck! And nurse Ratchet oops I mean Lyla has me under control."

"Only Clay and Tig need stitches not bad." Tara said.

"You got the others Jen?"

"What happened between you two?" Jax asked. A breath hissed through his teeth as Jenna put a peroxide covered q-tip to one of his cuts. "Sorry Baby…and that's none of your business…What crawled up your butt? You are usually happy when a beef is settled."

"Didn't get settled… Weston went down for the Caracara arson and Zobelle turned himself in on heroin possession to keep us from shooting him."

"Oh…well some day somehow you'll get em' baby I know you…." she kissed him. "I like this par of getting in fights…" he murmured kissing her back. "Makes you all lovey dovey…" he finished taking the kiss deeper. Once the kiss was broken.

"Well since they are locked up for now we can stand down for tonight at least?" Jenna asked.

"Yeah, lets go home…I'll grab the kid."

"Okay."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna woke up alone and was scared until she saw a letter sitting on her night stand. Picking it up gingerly. She read "Jenna" written on the front of the envelope in Jax's boxy cramped handwriting. Flipping it over she opened it she took a deep breath before taking out the single folded page and unfolding it and reading.

My Jenna,

You sleep as I write this. Your calm gentle breathing soothes me. I'm not scared of what may happen to me should my actions come back to bite me. They will not get away with what they did to you and Ma not as long as there is breath in me.

This letter isn't about that though it's the about the things I want you to know just in case we don't grow old together and I am unable to tire you with how often I tell you I love you.

I love you always have in one way or another. That gangly little girl who followed me around like a shadow to the woman you are today I have always loved you. I'm only sorry I wasted what time we could have had together in guilt and loneliness .

I just want to say thank you for loving me as you do. Without question and unconditionally.

You and my mother are the only homes I've ever had beyond the club and the brotherhood nothing is more important to me than you Ma and Abel I'm trying to protect you all. If I can't be here to raise Abel please tell him he gave me purpose, hope, and joy. I know he will be a better man than I am. That is my hope. He's my reason make sure he knows.

You are my home. I find solace in your eyes. You have made my life.

I love you…

Forever fated to be yours,

Jax

P.S. Stay with Ma. Halfsac will be waiting outside to stay with you Ma and Tara. Be careful be smart. Love you…

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Jenna hurriedly got dressed. Once they got home the night before Jax had quickly eaten and fallen asleep. So she didn't get to tell him about the baby. She was excited about it she quickly texted Jax. *Where are you? We need to talk. Can I take my truck? Do I need to wait for escort?*

*Waiting for word on Zobelle and Weston CPD. Go ahead and take you're truck. Piney took care of your escort.*

*Ok then, Let me get Abel and I'm on my way love you.*

*love you too*

Luckily for Jenna Nina had already dressed and fed Abel. Jenna picked up a banana for breakfast then set Abel in her lap rolling out the door.

"Crap the Car Seat!" Jenna said to herself.

"Piney put it back in your truck for you." She knew that voice.

She looked up and there stood a younger version of Jax Teller. "Holy Shit! Sunshine!"

The young man leaned on his bike. "Hey songbird." he sauntered forward hugging her.

"What are you doin' here?"

"Clay called on the Texas charter…so here I am…"

"I've missed you how are Callie and Domino?"

"Good good Callie stayed back but Dom and Track and all the other boys are here. The old ladies stay behind. Imagine my surprise when I get here and find out you married the VP of the mother chapter and got a kid to boot."

"Yeah Well Sunshine my life found me again is all…" she wheeled to her truck. Sunshine strapped Abel in.

"Cute Kid… "

"Thanks…. Follow me out to CPD?" she transferred into her truck and pushed the button for the lift to swing her chair into the back.

"Sure thing Honey." Sunshine kissed her cheek then got on his bike.

She rolled her eyes. Leave to her Daddy to tease poor Sunshine and surely torture Jax. Jenna never was very good at hiding when she'd had a past with someone.

Jenna pulled up and when the rider stopped behind her pulling off his helmet Opie laughed.

"Who in the hell is that?" Jax asked as some guy handed Jenna Abel.

"He's like your clone a sexy clone…" Tara said. From her spot next to Gemma.

"That is Sunshine…former lover to Jenna Teller and Sons of Anarchy Texas charters sergeant at arms." Opie said getting a kick out of the look on Jax's face. Sunshine kissed Jenna cheek. "He totally just hit on her in front of me.."

"Dude I'm thinking he's tapped that before…kiss on the cheek is the least of your worries." Juice teased Jax's jaw clenched.

"It was nice seeing you Sunshine…don't get into to much trouble."

"Never Darlin' and it was good seeing you too my little songbird."

"Songbird What the fuck he has nicknames for her." Jax muttered to Opie.

"She spent a year in Texas they got close." He whispered back as Jenna rolled over.

"Hi, baby any news?"

"Who was that?" he bit out.

"An old friend Jax."

"How friendly?"

"You know what I'll be honest I wasn't a fucking nun in the time we were apart…I did nothing wrong Jax and I refuse to be repentant for fucking someone else when she's not even ten fucking feet from you Jackson. I came here to tell you something important not bicker with you about my past. It can wait." she turned to go back to her truck.

"Wait!" she kept rolling. "Damn it Jenna I said wait." he stood in front of her determined not to move until she talked.

"I'm sorry I overreacted…now what did you need to tell me."

"I was all excited to tell you and you just killed the excitement never mind I'll tell you later."

"No… tell me now please."

"Fine I'm pregnant…"

He laughed. "Run that by me one more time."

"I said I'm a pregnant did you hit your head last night or something?"

He crouched down hugging her. "You're sure…" he whispered into her neck.

"I need the blood test but yeah I'm sure." he kissed her on the lips and Abel fussed at him for being squished.

"Sorry lil Man."

He looked up and everyone including Tara was smiling at him. "We'll have a new addition to the Sons family in…wait how far along are you?"

"No more than a month."

"In eight months Abel's gonna be a big brother!" he picked up Abel

"What you think about that?" in response Abel pulled on Jax's beard.

"Ouch!" Jax played along and Abel giggled it was a game they played.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later…

"Kiss your man bye and lets go drop our cars off at the club we'll take our truck to do our stuff…" Gemma told her as Abel reached for Gemma she took him. "Ok."

Taking her face in hands he kissed her. Soft slow and thoroughly as though he thought this might be the last time he'd do so. It made her want to cry. She kissed him back her fingertips tracing his jaw line and chin. Once they broke apart. "Just come out of it alive." she whispered

"I will." she kissed him again quickly fighting off tears. She backed off a little.

"You know I still like the facial hair." she Joked.

"You're an odd duck Jenna and I love you for it."

"I love you too always…" he stood up and took Abel from Gemma. He kissed Abel's cheek holding him tight. Removing his hat he kissed the top of his head inhaling the lavender baby shampoo they used on him.

"I know… we didn't do our morning routine but you were sleepin' like a rock lil man…so I left you…"

"There's always tomorrow." Jenna said with a bright smile.

"I love you son…" he kissed him once more put his hat back on handed him to Gemma stopping to kiss her cheek. "Love you Ma."

"Love you baby."

He turned and walked away not looking back. Jenna looked helplessly after him.

"He'll be alright sweet heart."

"Alright if we're going lets go. Tara!" Jenna called.

"Wait!" Opie called out. He jumped over the railing of alcove he was standing in landed perfectly on his feet. Strode over to Jenna wordlessly and hugged her tight . They didn't need to say I love you and be safe, sometimes they didn't need words.

"You are all those kids have Harry." his name came out on a choked little sob.

"I know."

"Stick to Jax like glue?"

"You got it. Halfsac is tailing you all you lose him you call me."

"Okay. See you later."

"See ya Sis." they both walked off in different directions.

She rolled over to her truck where Gemma and Tara waited.

"I'm outta practice Gem. That was really hard."

"It'll get better."

"What do you mean out of practice you've prepared for war before?" Tara asked. "Turf wars with the Mayans went down for nearly my whole life. We are always fightin' somebody it never stops." Jenna said getting into her truck.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jenna waited in the truck with Abel while Gemma and Tara loaded up the groceries. She watched as Gemma closely watched a blond girl. When the girl got in her ritzy car Gemma got in the truck. Once Tara was safely in the truck.

"Jennasis I need you to follow that car."

"Is that who I think it is?"

"Yeah Zobelle's daughter…set me up said her baby was choking." Jenna wordlessly put the car in drive.

A few minutes later…

"Gemma why are we here you've healed you don't need this." Tara said.

Jenna stared ahead silently no matter how healed Gemma was Jenna knew she wanted to exact this justice herself.

"God put her in path…my husband….my son…the brothers are all out there putting their lives on the line for me…going to war…this is my part to do." she loaded the gun setting it in her lap.

"You don't have to do this Gemma." Tara pleaded a last time.

"Yes, Yes I do." she leaned into the backseat to hug her and kiss Tara's cheek. "Thank you for being there." Tara just nodded.

"And you my love, I'm glad you came home….glad you and Jackson finally figured it out. You take care of everyone you hear me?"

"I can't…I'm not you…I'm not ready …"

"Honey, you struck out all alone for three years… you handle things that break most people you can do anything…I love you." Gemma kissed her cheek. "Get my grandson home safe." and she was out of the truck. Jenna put the car in drive. Silent tears streaming down her face. She did a u turn and met Halfsac on the way out. She rolled down the window.

"Go 'round back of that house and wait for Gemma she'll need a quick out."

"But Jen I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"I'll be fine I'll handle the heat from Jax."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Thank you sac."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The girls went back to the house to gather some of their things. Jenna was switching laundry around when Tara called out for Jax. Jenna came out of laundry room when moments later she heard a scream. She rolled as fast as she could into the kitchen to see Halfsac laying in a bloody pool Tara speechlessly huddled next to him and Cameron picking up Abel. Jenna silently pulled her gun.

"You're going to want to put down my child Cameron….If you remember I'm a fucking great shot."

"You're baby? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What you mean you didn't get a wedding invitation? Now put my baby down."

"Gemma fucking Teller killed me boy a son for a son is only fair." Jenna had a clean shot. She wouldn't hit Abel. She prayed she wouldn't hit Abel. She took the shot. Her hands shaking she missed Cameron's head by a mere two inches. Abel was screaming but unharmed. As she took her next breath. Cameron fired and hit her in the shoulder.

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As she came to she sat in her chair tipped backward it laid parallel to the floor. He made it so she would eventually drown in her own blood Tara tied up next to her in the rocker. She didn't have the energy too scream and Tara didn't have the ability. As Cameron left with Abel.

She wasn't sure how much later it was when she heard Jax screaming their names he quickly found them. Tara came into his view first then Jenna. Chilbs and Sunshine began untying Tara.

Jax knelt next to Jenna. "Jenna baby no." she struggled to open her eyes. "He took Abel …" the girls said at once.

"What? Who?"

"Cameron." Jenna whispered. Opie began putting pressure on her wound she grunted in pain Tara rushed over to help. "Go get our boy I'll be here later I promise." Jax kissed her as he got up he realized he was covered in her blood. "No, Jen I need you to stay awake. Talk to Opie. Someone call 911..." Tara screamed Jax ran for his bike. Asshole had his kid and he couldn't just sit and watch his wife die.

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"Mister Winston we have to put your daughter under to repair the gun shot wound it could mean losing the baby…."

"Do whatever you can to save her."

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Jenna awoke and the person she least expected was at her bedside.

"Here to finish the job." she asked Clay.

"No, I'm here to protect what is left of my family Gemma's on the run with Unser…Cameron got away with Abel…." Clay had expected the soul ripping sobs but it killed him to hear them. He brushed his hand down her cheek. "Shhh. Shhhh. Shhhh." Piney came in from getting coffee.

"I tried to stop him I was scared and nervous I didn't want to accidentally hit Abel."

"No one blames you or Tara." Clay said firmly. "This isn't yours to carry Jenny."

"Why aren't you all out looking for him?"

"You've been out three days darlin' we've run outta leads. Hale is helping but-"

"Where's Jax?" Jenna cut Piney off.

"Won't come out of the boys room." Clay said.

"Take me to him. With Gemma gone I'm kinda taking her spot right?"

"Why you ask Hon?" Clay wondered aloud.

"Get me Fiona Telford on the phone. Gemma might be scared of her I'm to pissed to be scared its time for a woman to woman talk. Now seriously take me home."

"Wait the baby?"

"Is fine that one's hanging on for dear life." Piney smirked

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Jenna was a little high on pain meds and her right arm in a sling but she was home. She'd signed out AMA but Tara had said she'd watch over her so Piney let Jenna have her way. Nothing was going to stop her from getting to Jax not even bullet wounds. Piney knew that.

Lyla opened the door the moment they pulled up. When they got to the door Lyla hugged her tightly.

"Lyla honey…try not to squeeze so tight but I missed you too."

"Right bullet holes… sorry."

"Its ok…" she rolled through the door. Hale with his pen and pad and her Mother with a plate of food advanced on her.

I'll deal with you two in a minute." Opie appeared to help roll her through the throngs of bikers and cops.

Opie rolled her into the nursery. Someone had gotten her blood out of the carpet probably her Mother. Jax sat in the rocker staring blankly out the window. She nodded for Opie to leave. The door shut quietly behind him seconds later.

"Honey…" he looked over the moment he realized she was in fact real and not a figment of his imagination he crumpled from the inside out. He got up out of the chair walked over tears brimming in his eyes he knelt down. Laid his head in her lap and cried. Soul wrenching sobs. That broke her heart. His tears soaking through the material of her sweat pants. She ran the fingers of her free hand through his hair in a attempt to soothe. Silent tears dripping down her face. "We'll find him baby …we will." she prayed she hadn't lied to him.

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**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Blackbird She Takes Flight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/451606) by [MissMeggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie)
  * [Someone Like You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/469852) by [MissMeggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie)




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